For the Love of Dance

Chapter 16

A.N: Hey guys just letting you know that this chapter does include some sexual content. I have placed a warning before it begins and there is a warning indicating when it ends. Hope you Enjoy :)

Halloween Part II

When I was younger I remember watching TV and being curious about guys. There was this one show, I forget what it was called but, there was this girl named Tanya and she really liked this guy named Damien. He was super popular. Every girl wanted to get with him and every guy wanted to be friends with him. Tanya on the other hand was quiet, hard working and was not known around the school. However, that did not stop them from being together. Now enter, Jacob. He was in grade 11 and I was in grade 10. I remember thinking he could be my Damien. We could be the greatest couple this school has ever seen and apparently he felt the same way as he asked me out on a date. I was both excited and nervous for our first date but, it turns out that I didn't need to be because Jacob didn't really care about what I had to say. He went on and on about his plans for the summer, football and his friends. I didn't think much of it, I mean guys were supposed to take the lead. Not shortly after that night, we started "dating" and I was ecstatic. However, as the relationship continued I started to feel less and less excited. Jacob at first use to control what I wore. It got to a point where he would send me back inside if he disapproved of my outfit. He would tell me to put on something else. Then he would instruct me on how to act around his friends because apparently I was talking too much. Everything I said or did was wrong because I was too energetic, too confident, and too happy. Nevertheless, I let it continue because Tanya did the same. She stopped reading and began partying. Her goals and aspirations changed and it almost as if the old Tanya was nowhere to be found. But of course, when I was younger I didn't see it that way. I saw love, the kind that I wanted to have not realizing that what Tanya and Damien had was not love. It is a male telling a women how to act and behave so much so that the women is not able to be herself. Change is inevitable but, you should never be told to not to be you for the sake of someone else. Once I realized that, I broke up with Jacob but, the scars still remain. I hear his voice sometimes when I am walking down the street, when I get up in the morning and when I am around other people. His voice keeps telling me that I am not good enough. I am still working on blocking his voice out and moving on with my day.

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The ride to my house with Leo was long and quiet. I just couldn't believe what happened. I was still in shock over what Patrick said and what Leo did. I turned to look at Leo and he is focused on the road ahead but, I know he is worried. Leo's forehead is all creased and he is biting on his lip. I didn't want to to talk to him, not right now so I do what any millennial does when they are in awkward situation, I grab my phone. I first quickly text Angelica letting her know that we are no longer at the club and that I would tell her in more detail later. I then go through my contacts and delete Patrick's number and block him on Instagram. I continue to stare blankly at my phone until we reached my house.

I get out of the car and basically race for the front door. Leo follows and calls out my name. I open the door and quickly take off my 6 inch heels because my feet were in a lot of pain. I then turn towards Leo ready to yell at him but, he beats me to it.

"Denise, I am sorry. I messed up. I shouldn't have stepped in, I just couldn't let him talk to you like that." Leo looks me in the eyes, pleading with me to forgive him. My heart begins to ache because I so badly want to let this go but then I remember the situation and the anger returns.

"But you did. This was my problem and I was dealing with it, the way that I thought was best. You don't think I wanted to punch him, you don't think I wanted to hurt him." At this point I can feel tears falling down but, I needed to get this out. "I can speak for myself, I have been speaking for myself all of my life and now you show up and you think that you can speak for me. I have felt small and insignificant all my life and only recently I have started to find my voice and I will not let it be taken away."