For the Love of Dance

Chapter 20

"Can you pass the bread?" Ethan mumbles. Well, this is awkward, I don't know why I am surprised, we are on a double date. It wasn't planned to be this way. Everyone was supposed to come to the restaurant in order celebrate starting a new semester but, things just didn't work out. So here we were are me, Leo, Ethan and Angelica at a restaurant.

"So Ethan, did you do anything interesting over the break?" Leo asks, trying to fight off the silence that was very much present.

"Not really, I hung out with a couple of my buddies back home," Ethan says while clearing his throat. Angelica keeps looking down at her plate even though there was nothing there but bread. I mean I love carbs too much to not eat them. I was just about to ask Ethan another question when out of nowhere Angelica quickly gets up and leaves the table.

"Shit," Ethan swears under his breath and I immediately become worried. Ethan continues speaking which surprises me and Leo, "We shouldn't have come out tonight. There are just a lot of things going on that is not resolved between us. I don't want you guys to think that this has anything to do with you." I knew that statement was meant to comfort us but, it sure has hell wasn't comforting me.

"No worries," Leo interjects.

"I am just going to go check on her, make sure she is okay," I say slowly rising from the table but, as soon as I am out of sight I begin to jog towards the washroom. I open the door and see Angelica fidgeting with her hair in the mirror.

"Hey," I say standing beside her fixing my hair as well.

"What did he say?" Now I am definitely confused and shocked about what is going on. This was new for me and new for Angelica as well because she always carried herself with such grace and composure but, now I could visibly see that she is upset. She is barely holding herself together and there is nothing wrong with that. I have just never seen her like this before and it worries me.

Angelica suddenly stops touching her hair and turns to face me. Her eyes are visibly watering, "You want to know what's wrong. Well, let's start off with the fact that he has been ignoring me for this whole semester. He claims that he is too busy with this and that but then I come to find out that he has been spending time with other people. Oh and then there is the fact that I was promised that we would go somewhere special this year for the Christmas break. We talked and planned about going to Mexico but when it came down to booking the trip, he told me that it wasn't going to happen because he was too busy with school. He claims that since he is trying to become an engineer, it involves way more effort than what I am trying to do in school. He always states that I never understand the amount of work he has to do. To add to that, it's the fact that he keeps making snarky comments behind my back. For example, at homecoming when he said that I was changing and it was not a good look for me. I was so pissed that he had the audacity to even say that to me, but God forbid I make a scene in front of everyone and make Ethan look bad. Do you even know what it feels like to always be regarded as perfect? I've felt this pressure all my life and now I am starting to feel it in this relationship. I always get comments like 'You and Ethan are so perfect. You and Ethan are going to be together forever.' Even my parents are expecting us to get married. I mean, I thought we were going to be together forever but, things have changed. I am so scared to say anything to anyone because I don't want people to be disappointed in me. I don't want anyone to think that Angelica is not so perfect after all. But look at me now, here I am having a meltdown in the washroom, like a crazy person."

I didn't know what to do. I didn't even know what to say. My friend has been hurting for a while now and she felt like she couldn't tell anyone, she felt like she couldn't even tell me.

"I am sorry Angelica. I should have known you needed a friend. I should have supported you. I had an idea that something was happening between you and Ethan but, I chose to ignore it because I was under impression that you two are inevitable together but even then relationship are hard or so at least I think they are hard..." Angelica chuckles at that and my heart eases up. "But, Angelica you don't have to be afraid to come and talk to me about anything. I will always be on your side, ALWAYS. If you feel like Ethan isn't the one then you don't have to be with him."

Angelica sighs. "I don't know what to do. I love him but, things are just so messed up right now. I just don't know if we can get through this. I don't know if I want to get through this. On the Christmas break, do you know who he was spending time with?" she asks. I kept quiet, waiting for her to respond.

"His ex-girlfriend but, that's not what he told me. He said that he needed time to be with his family. It was another reason to add to the list of why we couldn't going to Mexico. I understood because it was a semester and things have been challenging in our relationship lately. We both needed time to recharge and reconnect with those that love us the most. But to be blindsided and to find out through a mutual friend who sent me instagram pictures that they have been spending a lot of time together during the break. Through the pictures, I found out that they have been going skiing, skating and everything else. To top it off, not once did he tell me any of this. I would have understood if he just sent a text letting me know that he was reconnecting with his ex. But, no. He kept it a secret which makes me think there was something else going on." Angelica stops talking and silence once again fills the space.

"What did he say? Did you tell him that you know who he was hanging out with?" I ask.

"He said that nothing happened between them and that they just hung out together. He added that I had nothing to worry about and that he loved me and not her. But how can you sit there and say you love me but then lie to my face. Especially on top of everything else that has happened, the condescending comments he has directed at me, the way he avoids me and now this. I never thought I would say this but I don't know if I can do this with him anymore." Angelica begins to cry and my heart breaks. I wrap my arms around her and she buries her head in my shoulder. I pull away and hold her hands.

"Do you want me to fight him because I will. I hate that he is doing this to you." Angelica shakes her head.

"As much as I want to blame him. I have been avoiding him. I have been withholding information from him. Does that not make me just as much as a liar."

"Look, I am not an expert at love. But I know this, you both are hurt and lying to each other. You guys need to talk and figure out what you guys want from this relationship. Also, Angelica if you don't want to be this relationship, you don't have to be. You don't have to please other people, you just need to please yourself. I can only speak for myself but, I will support you in whatever you choose to do. I love you for you not because you are in a relationship with Ethan. I will bet that everyone in your life feels the same way." Angelica nods her head.

"Well, what do we do now? We have been in this washroom for 20 minutes now." Angelica states.

"It's none of their business what we are doing in here. The real question is what do you want to do?"

"I want to go home, I just need time to think about everything." Angelica responds.

"I know exactly what to do."

We head back to the table and explain to Ethan and Leo that Angelica is not feeling well and that we need to take her home. Ethan understands and we all abruptly leave the table. We arrive home and Angelica quickly leaves the car, thanking Leo for the ride. I was about to follow her when Leo gently tugs on my shirt. I stop and stare at him waiting for him to explain himself.

Leo hesitates but, then he finally says something, "Hang out soon?"

"Yea for sure" He quickly kisses my lips and then lets me go.

I was glad Angelica told me what was happening with her and Ethan but at the same time, I have never been more scared.