For the Love of Dance

Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Snow is beginning to slowly build up on the street and fields that we are pass. The further North we go, the harder and faster the snow falls. I'm so grateful that I am sheltered in a heated car. The snow is pretty but, the temperature outside makes being in the snow less enticing.

"Are you hungry? We can stop now if you are." I tear my gaze away from the window, leaving behind the rolling hills that made up farm country. I look at Leo. He has his brows furrowed. He is worried about me.

"No, unless you are hungry." I feel like I should have said more. The car ride for the most part has been pretty quiet. I just didn't feel like talking, not just to Leo but to anyone. There is so much going on in mind right now, so many questions that are left unanswered.

"No, I am good as well." Leo replies. In the matter of moments, silence fills the space once again and I go back to looking out the window. It's hard to believe that it was only yesterday that I found about my mom. I haven't had many updates from my dad other than the doctors are still running tests. I knew my dad is just as worried as I am. I don't think I will be able to see my mom for a while knowing that there are no bus that could take me home. After Justin walked me home, I briefly explained to the girls what had happened. They all hugged me and told me to text them with updates. I could tell they wanted me to say more but, I just didn't have the energy to talk to anyone. Even now, I like I am half of a person. I am barely able to keep up with what is going on around me. After I said my goodbyes to the girls (as they were all heading back home that night), I flopped onto my bed and just laid there in silence for what felt like an eternity. I didn't want to think about what was happening but, I also didn't know what to do. Around 9:00 pm my phone began vibrating and I saw Leo's name. I reached for my phone knowing that he was probably worried about me.

"Denise I am so sorry. I had a late night at work and didn't get to see my phone until now. Are you okay?"

"I don't know if I am okay. I just didn't think this would happen to my mom. What ... what if she dies Leo? I can't imagine a life without her."

"I know but whatever happens we will get through it together. When are you getting picked up?"

"I don't know. My dad is currently staying with my mom until the doctors come back with some results. I could be waiting for a while which also worries me. There is just so much that is unknown right now. I hate not knowing anything. I mean she could be gone tomorrow..."

"I will drive you to her."

"But you have work and your family, it's Christmas I couldn't ask that of you."

"I want to. I have vacations days that I can use and my mom will understand. I will come to pick you up tomorrow morning around 7."

"Leo?"

"Yeah."

"Thanks."

So thanks to Leo I was heading to go see my mom. I still didn't really know how to feel about the whole situation. I'm grateful that Leo is with me but his presence also brings on a whole new level of stress. My parents don't exactly know that I am dating someone and to top that off, I don't know how to introduce the topic of Leo given that my focus is solely on my mom. As I stare out the window, the thoughts continue to circle in my mind. The closer we get to the hospital, the more demanding the thoughts become.

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I hate hospitals. I hate the dual coloured walls that seem to be endless. I hate the smell that lingers in every hallway we pass. The smell of flowers sometimes fills the air but, if you stay long enough, the flowers are no longer present and you are left with smelling what can be described as a mix of alcohol and the passing smells of bodily fluids. I think the worst part of about hospitals are the sounds that fill the hallways. You can hear the low whispers of doctors discussing treatments with their patients and the mumbles of other patients calling out for assistance. The sound that is most ingrained in my mind is the cries that come from patients and families. The more we walk through the hospital, the more I can feel my body tense up until we finally reach my mom's door.