It's Always Been You

Chapter 1

Steve paces across the room, deep in thought as Bucky watches him slowly but surely losing his mind about what he's about to do.

"Steve, it's not that big of a deal. You can't do whatever the hell you want, ya hear me? Not everything is up to you," Bucky explains, crossing his arms and glaring at the man in front of him.

Steve scoffs. "And if I do you'll cry and be a whole baby about it."

"What's your problem?" Bucky spits out. "The world doesn't revolve around you, you know? You're not even making any sense!"

"I never said it does!" Steve snaps back. "Honestly, I'm to tired to talk about this. Just, please, this once. Let me do what I wanna do."

"Steve, you're risking any chance you have to come back," Bucky almost pleads. "Don't," he pauses, taking a deep breath as he tries his best to keep his composure.

"Bucky, you don't understand-"

"Thing is, I do, Steve!" Bucky is actually angry now, his fists clenched and tears threatening to spill. "If you do this, you'll be stuck in that time forever! And you're telling me that I don't understand!"

Steve rolls his eyes. "And you said that it wasn't a big deal."

Bucky's quiet for a moment, his heart hammering in his chest. "It's just..." he starts, fiddling with his metal fingers. "I just got you back."

Steve stops in his tracks. "But I can't live with the fact that I can finally do something, Buck. I can save you from HYDRA. I can stop Tony's parents' deaths-"

"Steve, it doesn't change anything," Bucky says calmly. "The past becomes your future, and your future becomes your past. Saving me from HYDRA won't bring the old me back because this is me, Steve."

It's Steve turn to be quiet. He expected a lot of things, but Bucky just straight up dismissing the idea of him going back in time to try to change things is not one of them. He thought he'd be supportive, or at least not give him a lecture right here, in the middle of the office.

Bucky doesn't say a word either.

"I just wanna go back and put the stones back in place, Buck. That's the top priority, but you know damn well that I'll try to stop everything."

"You don't owe the world anything," Bucky tries again, exasperated. "God, Steve. Guess you never grew outta that stubbornness, huh?"

"If it wasn't for my stubbornness you wouldn't even be here," Steve fires back, and Bucky frowns. "If it wasn't for my stubbornness, no one would be here, Bucky."

"Look," Bucky sighs,"I don't want you dead, Steve."

"I won't be!"

"You don't know that. If you just as much as pass the time stamp, you might be stuck in there forever."

"What's so bad about that? I can finally live in peace and all that. Try some of the life Tony's made for himself."

"It's fucking selfish, Steve!"

"We've just saved the world, Buck. I think I can go with selfish."

"For fuck's sake, why won't you just listen to me for once? You know how many things you could've avoided if you just listened?"

"Now you're my mom. Great," Steve replies coldly.

"I'm trying to reason with you, alright? What do you wanna do so badly anyway?!" Bucky exclaims. "We've got everything we need right here, Steve."

"I still have to return the stones," Steve adds, as if he's not invested in the conversation enough.

"I know." Bucky runs his hand through his hair frustratedly. "I don't need saving, Steve. I'm right here. I'm okay."

"It hurts me to know that I can do something about it," Steve replies, his voice different from how it sounded like just a few seconds ago. This one sounds more desperate, and Bucky isn't sure if it's a good thing or not.

"You can't," Bucky repeats. "Saving me in the past won't do anything to me now."

"But I've got to try."

"No," Bucky demands,"and that's final."

Steve didn't dare tell him that he wanted to go back for Peggy. To tell her what the future has in store for her, and that's she's going to be okay. He never got to say goodbye, after all.

"Is it Peggy?" Bucky asks, realization dawning on him like a ton of bricks. He didn't dare say it at first, afraid that he'd been right all along, but Steve's shocked expression gives it away.

"Buck, no, it's not-"

"Save it, Steve. You go ahead and be with your best girl, pal. Sorry I was even trying to stop you," Bucky replies, almost as cold as Steve had been before, storming out of the room before anyone could hear his sobs.

Steve runs a hand through his hair, thinking of a way – any way – that he can make things better, if it's even possible anymore.

He's screwed up, and this time, he can't do anything to fix it.