It's Always Been You

Chapter 9

A/N: This one's a slightly longer (and heavier) chapter so buckle up, y'all
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Steve and Bucky walk to the old Avengers Tower hand-in-hand, both of them grinning like idiots. As Steve leads his man to the facility, the workers and agents look at Bucky suspiciously. Steve tells them that he's nothing to be worried about, as he's a guest from Russia who just came in to see the new installation in Tony's office.

Truth be told, he had no idea what he said, but it worked, so that's all that matters. Plus, the fake Russian accent Bucky made was priceless.

With a breeze, they both enter the elevator, praying to whoever's listening that no one will enter while they're still inside. Seeing Captain America and his strange friend going up to the highest floor after he's told half of HYDRA that he's one of them isn't exactly ideal.

"So," Bucky starts, watching the floor numbers change on the monitor next to the doors, "this is gonna take a while."

"Three minutes tops," Steve replies, earning a hum of approval from Bucky.

"You know what can be done in three minutes, Stevie?" he asks almost seductively.

Steve notices the glint in his eyes and tries to hide the blush on his face. "What, Buck?" he says, playing innocent.

"I'm about to call you out of that bullshit, Rogers. You know damn well what I mean," Bucky replies, smirking.

"Um, I don't," Steve lies. He knows what Bucky's talking about. He hasn't stopped thinking about it either. After the whole confession in the middle of the road, they both can't help but be attracted to each other in a more... intimate way, but Steve will never admit that.

The elevator dings, saving Steve from even more embarrassment and making Bucky laugh when Steve releases a shaky breath.

"So, what do I do?" Bucky follows his boy, stopping behind a large pillar. As soon as he spots Steve from the 2012 timeline, he can't help the emotions building up inside him. It's been too long since he's seen Steve as he was before, and it almost pains him to see that he wasn't there to see him become the man he is now. The memory of him being captured by HYDRA for the first time and Steve saving him, wearing that exact suit (at least that's what he remembers), brings back something more painful.

God, the days when he would scream for Steve to come back and get him, or even the days he spent in silence. Everything feels so real. He knows that it's not the right memory when he sees Steve and Zola experimenting on him together, but can't do anything to stop it. What if it is the right memory, but Steve just erased it from his mind all those years ago? What if he's here just to be left in a world he doesn't know, forced to integrate into society after he's had such a hard time back in—

"Just follow my..." Steve trails off, noticing that Bucky's thoughts are elsewhere. "Hey, I'm right here," he whispers, cupping Bucky's face in his hands. "It's all okay. Whatever's in your head right now, it's not real, okay? This is real. I'm real." He let his hands fall and take a hold of Bucky's, squeezing his right hand comfortingly, reassuring him that he's okay.

"Please..." Bucky says, his voice so, so scared, "don't hurt me anymore. Please." He pulls away from Steve's grasp and Steve lets him. "Please..." he breathes out, blinking away his tears as he brings his knees close to his chest. "It hurts..."

"What hurts, Buck?"

"What doesn't?"

Steve knows they have a small time frame where he can put the Stone back in its place, but he doesn't have the heart to tell Bucky. He thought that his flashbacks were a thing of the past, but it seemed that after five years of being in the Soul World, it came back. And in the worst timings. So, he takes a seat next to Bucky instead. He knows what it's like to be somewhere else in your mind, although he acknowledges the fact that Bucky's probably had it worse.

Bucky starts to resurface from his thoughts. He opens his eyes to his surroundings, seeing Steve next to him, worry written all over his face.

"Hi," Steve greets, a weary smile on his lips. "You okay?"

"Were you... were you with HYDRA?" Bucky asks, afraid of what Steve's answer is going to be. "'Cause I saw you with the doctor, and you were with him... hurting me and giving me the new arm, and I just... I don't know if that's true. Please tell me it isn't," Bucky pleads, his voice cracking at the end of his sentence.

"No," Steve answers. "God, no. I was frozen when you were under HYDRA, and I'm so sorry I wasn't there," he continues, gently running his fingers through Bucky's brown locks. "I wish I could just kill all of them. When you fell..." he composes himself, taking a deep breath. "I didn't know what to do with myself. I didn't wanna live in a world without you."

Bucky is quiet for a moment before he regains the energy to tease Steve again. "And I had to be the one confessing?"

Steve rolls his eyes, but the smile on his face becomes more genuine now. "Glad to see you back, Buck."

They both know Bucky is still a bit far away, but they have a silent agreement not to mention it. He'll be okay soon enough—he needs the distraction.

"It came outta nowhere," the brunette says. "Nevermind. It came from me seeing you in the old suit. I have to say, Stevie, your ass looks way better in this suit."

Steve smiles fondly, though his heart aches with the thought of that being the last joke he shared with Tony. When he sees Tony from 2012, he laughs lightly, sniffling.

Bucky still feels immensely guilty for killing Tony's parents. The fact that he didn't have a chance to mend their relationship before Tony passed makes him even guiltier, but Steve keeps the negative feelings in check every once in a while.

"Where are we going?" Bucky asks, trailing behind Steve quietly.

"We have to give this to Loki."

"Loki? Like, the alien invasion guy you told me about?" Bucky asks, bewildered. "I thought he was a bad guy."

"Maybe we can convince him by giving him the Space Stone?"

"Okay, so lemme get this straight. You wanna bribe the god of mischief?"

"Well, if you put it that way..." Steve answers sheepishly. "I just wanna bring him back to Thor, 's all. I think he deserves to have his brother back after what Thanos did to him."

"Will he come with us, though?"

"We never know 'til we try," Steve says, shrugging, reminding Bucky of all the stupid ideas he's had throughout his life. "Trust me on this one."

Bucky rolls his eyes. "Fine. If this doesn't work out, I get 'I told you so' rights."

***

Convincing Loki to come with them instead of following his elaborate plan to destroy the Avengers is surprisingly easier than they thought it'd be. Bucky thought it'd require more force, but Loki agreed almost immediately.

It's as if he's been waiting for this his whole life—fighting alongside his brother.

Steve figures that it's better to let Thor tell the stories himself.

They've been walking in silence for a few minutes before Loki speaks up, "So... not that it concerns me, but are you married?"

Steve chokes on his own spit and Bucky almost trips on his own feet. "I, um... not really," Steve says, flustered. There are a lot of things they haven't talked about, him and Bucky, and marriage is definitely on the top of the list.

Bucky doesn't mind Steve's answer, Steve notices through the small smile on his face. The guy's probably just glad he wasn't the one who spoke up.

"It's just that... I saw you both behind the pillar earlier, and honestly, if your story was in a book of some kind, I would definitely cry reading it."

"Um... thanks," Bucky answers awkwardly.

"You don't act like a couple enough," Loki comments when they stop at a pedestrian crossing.

Bucky laughs wholeheartedly, a beautiful sound, and pecks Steve on the cheek. "Happy?"

Steve just blushes fifty shades of red.