SOJOURNER (III): tmr gally

17: I could use a knife

Leo 17

I wake up far too early. Light streams in the windows. I crack my back, shielding my eyes from the bright light. My hair is dusty from the old floor. Two girls I don't recognize are passed out against the doorframe. I wonder if they are the builders that Saph was talking about.

I shuffle out of my sleeping bag, glancing around. Everyone is still asleep. I pull myself off the floor, watching my socks creating a trail. Reaching over, I grab my backpack off the ground, and lift it over my shoulder. No one has stirred yet, thankfully.

I move my feet closer to the door, shuffling back and forth until I am in the doorframe. The girls are just in front of me, legs stretched out and waiting to trip me. If I take one step forward, I can push the door and leave. It would be just that easy. One hand, and I am out of here.

"Don't move," someone says behind me. I feel a knife pressed against the small of my back. The girl has pulled up the back of my shirt, letting the cold metal dig into my skin. I don't turn around to look, so I don't know who it is. All their voices are so old I can't tell them apart yet.

"I thought we understood each other after last night," the girl sighs. It's Hilde. "I really don't want to do this."

Well, then she would let me go. At least some part of this is her choice. She can't pretend the contrary. I don't argue with her though. Instead, my throat tightens. I try to remain as still as possible.

"You can leave," she tells me.

She lowers the knife, so I spin around to look at her. Her dark eyes, lowered by heavy bags, meet mine. She smirks, raising an eyebrow. Although she pretends to be put together, her hair hangs out of her ponytail haphazardly, and her movements are weak. She has her arms crossed over her chest, and her belt in her hand. Quickly, she shoves it around her waist.

"You'd be surprised how your brain tricks you," she begins. "You feel something cold, and metal, and it's a knife."

At least a bit of relief swells in my chest. Before, I hadn't paid much attention to Hilde. From what I could tell, she was in charge of the Runners, or was going to be anyway. She's got a lot of clout, and the girls who follow her around seem to be blinded by her strength.

"But, I'll let you find Dawn," she tells me. "She's a nice enough stick. Didn't want to kill Thomas, and I can't blame her."

"Thank you," I offer, finally finding the ability to speak. My voice is sturdy than I expected.

"But," she freezes, moving around me, "just because I don't think we should blindly murder the stick, doesn't mean I don't want all my friends to survive. So, if you'll just give me your medical supplies, you can be on your way."

What? "Why? None of you know how any of it works."

"Well," she looks around the group, "I'll take my chances with Marie. I mean, we already have injured in our group. Without those supplies, we die."

I follow her gaze. Hilde is right. Without me, they have nothing at all. My eyes land on Saph. She isn't doing well, and if her ankle is broken, and not just twisted, she's done. She needs me.

My group has Clint anyway. Isn't it selfish for me to leave? All because I want to make sure Newt isn't dead? I'm sure they are fine.

She seems to have caught me, so she wraps an arm around my shoulder. "I don't think I need to tell Harriet about this. I wouldn't want you getting into trouble. We all have our doubts sometimes, I get it."