SOJOURNER (III): tmr gally

38: I should've moved

Dawn 38

I force myself to peel off the ground. It's quick to pack up the camp, at least for me. I barely remember getting here. Poking Leo wakes her up. She yawns, looking over at me. I remember a while ago how it would take so much work to wake her up. I could poke, and prod, and she'd be deep in sleep. Part of me wishes I remembered when this change occurred. It's impossible to tell, really, because we have been apart for so long.

We both pack up our gear, and head out into the night sky.

It's quiet the entire time we trudge along. Minho and Newt head up the front, the rest of us falling quietly behind. No one says much, which makes me all the more uncomfortable. Thomas is nervous; he and Brenda are just in front of me. They are silent too, but I can see their fingertips grazing each other. At least something good comes from this.

I appreciate Leo's silence, because it feels natural. She sits beside me, occasionally biting her lip. More often though, I watch her eyes scan the desert. I know that she has to be thinking; someone as smart as her can't have a quiet brain. Yet, she looks peaceful.

The closer we get to the Mountains, the more my heart pulls in my chest. I keep looking up to Minho, but he and Newt are whispering in deep conversation. Maybe they have a plan to keep Thomas safe. If they do, none of us know about it. From the way Thomas's hands shake at his side, he doesn't know either.

I reach forward and grab his shoulder. He spins around to look at us. I nudge Leo, and she looks up.

"It'll be fine," I offer.

Thomas slows down so he can walk with us. His hand reaches back though, lingering towards Brenda. She's finally stopped being weird to me, but she is still weird in general. I realise Leo and Michelle don't even know her. Isn't that weird? We all have such contained universes, when for so long it was hard to separate us out in my head. Leo, Dawn, and Michelle.

"Teresa wants to kill me," Thomas falls in between Leo and myself. He grumbles the word, not to keep it secret from us, I don't imagine. We know better than him. He says it so quietly that I wonder if he wants to hear it.

"The rest of the girls don't," Leo tries to console him, but I'm not sure I agree with her. "At least, not really. They've lost people too. They don't want to lose anymore."

Thomas nods, but he is still unsure. "Tell me about them. I want to know as much as I can."

So we do. I tell him about Harriet, and how she wants to kill me. Leo paints her and Sonya to be kind saviours. I can get behind Sonya being kind but not Harriet. Other than them, I keep my mouth shut. Leo goes on though, since she was with them longer than I was. She talks about Saph's kindness, and her relationship with Beth. How the two like each other, but she doubts the other knows. Leo mentions Marie, who has died, remembering how she was a terrible Med-jack but a good friend. I jump in, bringing up Hilde and Rose. The two girls like to fight. None of us have seen Rose in days. At this point, she's almost definitely dead.

There are many others we don't know.

"If they kill you, at least they'll be nice about it," I joke.

Thomas doesn't think it's as funny as I do. He smiles at Leo though. I lean in and give him a hug from the side. It's difficult, since we are walking, but Thomas leans into me so I can tell it was worth it. His body is stiff.

"Don't be scared," I whisper.

He chuckles, leaning back. I still like Thomas, despite what everyone says. He is nice. I've forgotten he is human, just like us. He has brown hair, a clean face, and warm eyes. After all we've been through, he had every opportunity to turn bitter and resentful. He hasn't yet, though he could have at ay turn. He could hate me for yelling at him, or any of us.