SOJOURNER (III): tmr gally

01: I should stay calm

Leo 1

I did not sleep, even when Ella lost her voice from screaming, and her voice became nothing but raspy hisses that scratched and burned the air. It is a cruel thing to be absent. At these times of the night, I used to creep out of my bedroom and wake Newt and sit with him for hours. The stars in the sky were fake, and I think I knew this, so we often pinned our bodies tightly in a corridor, waiting for dawn. Even staring at the ceiling was pleasant with him nearby. Now, I am stuck in this room, alone.

At some point, the soft sounds of all the other girls in this room have lulled into one cohesive whisper. One wave that swims across the room, rippling from one girl to the next. Every few seconds, the sounds become disjunct, and I am reminded that we are all separate people.

The door unlocks, and I sit up. I curl against the wall, trying to let the darkness protect me. Hinges creaking loudly, but despite the sound I can't see the figure at the door. My body is plagued by exhaustion from the long day behind us, so my eyes can't focus and my fingers are lagging. There is more than one person walking into the room, all silent.

They walk towards me, masked faces, and I am so frozen I try to scream but no sound comes out my lips. One places a gloved hand over my lips, with leather that smells bitter and is too thick to bite through. I grab at the figure's neck, but they shove me to the bed, and inject my arm with a syringe.

My eyes grow heavier, and I am shoved deep into the dark.

My head pounds and aches, and my eyes try to remain closed. Is this what it feels like to be sedated? Every inch of my skin is exhausted. I peel myself up, my sweaty skin sticking to the covers beneath me.

Where am I?

The walls of the room are yellow, and I'm on a bunkbed. I am in the same place they got me. I My hands fumble as I grab the railing. I sway slightly, trying to still my pounding skull, as my eyes adjust to the sleeping girl across from me. My eyes flutter from girl to girl, counting each one. Head stinging as I name them off. Dawn, Michelle, Ella. And Teresa is here too.

They didn't take anyone.

Why did they knock me out?

I slowly climb down the ladder, holding on as tightly with my fists as my shaky fingers can. My socks shuffle across the floor, muffled yet painfully loud. As I move around, I drop my belt, full of tools to heavy for my swaying hips. The people who brought us here laid out clothing next to the bed. A brown jacket, with wool lining, and jeans. Heavy boots lie at the end. I ignore the mess shuffle into the bathroom to change.

The walls to the bathroom are a clean white. The colour offsets my skin. It has been so long since I've seen my face. Freckles litter my skin, brought out by the sun of the Glade. There are a few cuts on my face, but they are healing well. My cheek bone, however, sports a large yellow bruise from where I landed on the ground while carrying Ella. I run my fingertips along the mark, tracing my skin carefully.

Have I always looked like this? This nervous and uncertain?

I turn out of the room, grabbing my clothes and bringing them back into the bathroom. I quickly change, ignoring the sinking feeling in my chest when I look in the mirror. When I come out of the bathroom Ella is still sweating and tossing and turning. I don't want to know what is going on in her head, though I want to understand. Then she moans, and Michelle takes the pillow out from under her head and throws it in Ella's general direction. Thankfully, Michelle misses.

"Get up," I tell Michelle, hushing my voice to try and keep her calm. "Something is wrong."

"Slim it," she mutters.