SOJOURNER (III): tmr gally

36: I should be ready to challenge her

Ella 36

"That was a load," Hilde, I've learned her name, slams down her bow against the ground. I expect it to shatter, and so I nearly leap out of my shoes.

"It's fine," her voice is still shaking, but Saph manages to find a sturdiness with her that doesn't break to the darkness.

People are moving all around me. It is the middle of the day, but it feels like night. Everyone around me is only apparently in the waves of sound and touch with bounce off me. I'm forced to concentrate on names and faces, trying to remain in this world. I want to stay here for her. She's beside me, and very tired. Lagging. I want to see her face, but I don't want her to see mine.

She teeters on her feet. I take her arm and wrap it tightly around mine. She must keep a float, or I will lose her. I couldn't bear that. It would be a fate worse than death.

"I told you," Teresa mutters, her voice low. "Could you wait two days though? No."

"Shack that, he's gone!" Harriet shouts, for once her panic betraying her. "He wasn't there. Michelle almost killed Saph. There were at least fifteen of them. You were wrong."

"No, she wasn't," one of the boys I don't know corrects.

Teresa clicks on a flashlight and catches a glimpse of a boy. I don't know his name, nor who he is. She gestures for him to continue talking as she studies him.

"Lott and I had just shown up, with Leo and Beth. Michelle wasn't with them either. We don't know where she popped up from."

"I told you that Aris told me there was eleven," Teresa adds. Her voice is icy. "It isn't his fault that everybody else showed up."

She takes a step backwards, flashing the light across the faces of the newcomers. I don't know their names, and I couldn't remember them if I tried. It's harder to see people in the dark. It's also easier, because every colour they exude is darkened until it is beyond recognition.

Of course, except Sonya's. She radiates lilac and lavender. Sweet and soft. Her skin against mine is like silk. It's a blanket which I have long needed, made with delicate hands. Almost as if she is just for me and no one else.

"So, now what?" Harriet asks. "I'm not sending my girls back to die."

"Well, then they will die anyway," Teresa argues. "Even Ella would agree that Thomas is rotten, and she wants nothing to do with me."

I can feel their eyes on me, even if they can't see me. Sonya squeezes me. I nod my head, slowly. Thomas is awful, and no good, and I don't like Teresa. I wonder if she remembers what I said to her while she was in a coma.

I open my eyes, and she nods. She must remember.

She will get me out of the Scorch with Sonya, no matter the cost. If it means her life, or Thomas's, or any other person we have come across. My hatred for Teresa must take a backseat, in favour of Sonya.

"I'd kill him with my bare hands," I begin, eyes scanning the room.

Sonya's grip on me loosens. Harriet flinches, taking a step back. One of the girls (Hilde, I remind myself her name is Hilde) offers up a fist in front of me. I hit it with my own, sure it is what I am supposed to do. Hilde laughs, leaning over and ruffling my hair. I wonder if I look younger than I am.

Hilde looks like she could be 17. I'm 15. I remember that. So is Sonya, but even she is a bit taller than I am.

"So, we move at dawn," Teresa instructs. Her eyes flick over to Harriet and her nose scrunches. "Again."