Night in the Ruts

All Night - Charlie

"Friends?" Steven asked uncertainly.

        "No," I said, pulling him down for another kiss.  I'm still in love with this guy.  I never wasn't in love with him.  God, I can't believe I tried to forget Steven.  How could one even begin to forget him?  He cheated on me... Yeah, okay, so he did... I guess I know how my mom feels now, but... Somehow it doesn't seem the same.  Like, this is kind of okay in a way (actually, it's not okay), whereas my dad doing it to my mom was W R O N G wrong.

        Anyway, I don't really know what to do now.  Because I'm kissing him and I don't really want to stop, but I have to eventually, right?  I've gotta go home at some point; Nicky's waiting outside for me.  Oh, God.  What's Nicky gonna think about this?  Is he gonna be pissed?  Is he gonna stop talking to me again?

        Wait, stop thinking about Nicky; you're kissing Steven.  Steven.  My boyfriend, Steven.  My boyfriend.  At least I hope he's my boyfriend again, or else that might make this a little awkward...

        Finally, we stopped kissing, both still holding each other.  We were both breathing heavily from all the kissing.  I was sobbing, like the poor fuckin' sap I've turned out to be, and Steven was staring at me with this fiery look in his eyes that made me want to kiss him again.  But I didn't.  Instead, he said, "You wanna, uh, stay here for a little bit?"  I nod, not exactly capable of words at the moment.  "Why don't'cha, erm, go tell Nicky that, uh, I'll take you home," he suggests.

        I nod again, and as I walk off Steven too turns around and actually runs to the 'backstage' where his bandmates are.

        "Hey," I said.

        "Hey," Nicky said dully.  He was leaning up against his car and looked absolutely bored.  He blew some smoke from his lips, just as he brought the cigarette up to take another drag.

        "You can go ahead and leave," I say awkwardly.  "Steven's, uh, gonna take me home."

        Nicky doesn't show any emotion, but I know better than to think that this isn't bothering him.  He gives a curt nod, walking around to the driver's side.  "See ya," he say flatly

        "Yeah," I say.  "See ya."

        All the guilt instantly vanished when I walked inside and saw Steven sitting at the bar with the rest of the band.  There was a seat open between Tom and Steven, left for me.  I smiled and joined them, instantly sucked into their near-constant banter.  But first... Steven pulled me in and kissed me again.  God, I love kissing.

        "So Charlie," Joey began, "any curfew tonight?"

        Steven glares at him, but because before coming inside I wiped my eyes and straightened myself out, it was all happiness now.  So I laughed.  "Actually, no," I said.

        "What?"  Joey feigns shock.  "You mean ickle Charlie-kins doesn't have a curfew?"

        Steven glares again, but I can see the corners of his mouth twitching at a laugh.  "Actually, she's nineteen, thanks," he said sarcastically.

        Well, that's terribly unfortunate.  My birthday was just last month, making me no, not nineteen, but twenty.  I kind of want to tell him that, but the other three band members start laughing after exchanging a glance.  All but Tom, that is.  He looks kind of confused.  I'm confused too.  "So Steven," Brad begins.  Steven looks like he'd rather be getting teeth pulled than having whatever conversation is coming on.  Joey lets a chortle slip.  Brad ignores it.  "She's nineteen..."