Red vs Blue Season 1

Episode 16

Red Base

Donut stands on top of Red Base in pink armor.

Donut: Dude, this is sweet! Command was so happy that I got the Blue flag, they gave me my own color armor!

Grif and Simmons look at each other.

Grif: Uh... hey, Donut?

Donut: What?

Simmons: Um, about your armor...

Donut: What about it?

Simmons: How do I put this... Your armor is, um... It's a little, um... Grif, uh, you wanna help me out here?

Grif: It's pink. Your armor is frickin' pink!

Simmons: Yeah, that's it. Pink.

Donut: Pink? My armor's not pink!

Grif: PINK.

Simmons: Yeah, definitely pink.

Donut: You guys are color-blind. Why would they give me pink armor?

Grif: Hey, don't ask, don't tell.

Simmons: (over Grif's laughter) Heh, that's not funny.

Grif: (laughs a little more) It's a little funny.

Donut: Look at it, it's not pink. It's like, uh.. a "lightish red".

Grif: Guess what? They already have a color for lightish red. You know what it's called? Pink.

Donut: I hate you guys.

Sarge: (running up the ramp with Lopez and Scout in tow) Well hello, dirtbags. ...and a fine hello to you, madam.

Donut: It's LIGHT red.

Scout: (mutters) Poor Donut.

Sarge: Don't get your panties in a wad there, Barbie. Do you have a package for me?

Donut: Yes sir.

Sarge: Excellent.

Donut: (holding up a mechanical unit) They said this speech unit should work with Lopez.

Grif: Speech unit?

Donut: (handing the unit over to Sarge) Here you go.

Sarge: Affirmative. Command was fresh out of speech modules when I started building Lopez, but once I get this baby installed, I'll finally have someone intelligent to talk to. ...No offense, Simmons, Scout.

Simmons: Oh, don't worry, I know who you meant, sir.

Scout: Bitch.

Grif: Wait a second.. Lopez is a robot?

Simmons: Of course he is. You didn't notice that he never talks?

Grif: I just thought he was a really quiet guy.

Sarge: And the fact that he sleeps standing up and drinks motor oil didn't get your attention?

Grif: Well I-I did think the motor oil thing was a bit odd... Uh, I just thought he was trying to impress me.

Scout: God dammit Grif, no one wants to impress you!

Grif: Shut up Scout!

Simmons: Hey, sir. You really should ground yourself before handling that card.