Red vs Blue Season 1

Episode 18

The Cliffs

Church, Caboose, Sammy and Tucker are standing over Church's body.

Church: I am not happy about this.

Sammy: We know Church.

Caboose: I have an idea. ...I HAVE AN IDEA!

Tucker: Yeah, we heard you the first time, Caboose, we were just ignoring you.

Sammy: What's your idea Caboose?

Tucker: God damit.

Caboose: Since you possessed that Red guy, and took control of him, why don't you just possess your own body?

Church: Oh I see, so that way I would be living inside of my own dead body.

Caboose: Yes.

Church: Unable to move, just, laying there, rotting in the sun for all eternity.

Caboose: Yes.

Church: Okay, Caboose, I'll be sure to get right on that.

Caboose: I think you are a mean ghost.

Sammy: No Caboose...that's just Church in general.

Tucker: Dude, you really stink.

Church: What?

Tucker: Your body, it stinks.

Church: Tucker, the first chance we get, you are going to bury my body.

Tucker: Quit your bitching, nothing's going to happen to it.

Church: It's a freaking indignity! My body fought hard for this army, and it deserves to be laid to rest.

Sammy: But we haven't done anything.

Tucker: Get over it, you're already dead. What's the worst that could happen now?

Caboose: Hey, Church, look, birds! Why are they flying around in circles?

Church: (as a sigh) Nuh, God.

Sammy: (taking aim) Time for some good old target practice.

Red Base

Grif, Scout and Simmons are on top of Red Base.

Grif: Okay, I'll go again. I spy something.. that begins with...

Simmons: Dirt.

Grif: Damn! How did you-

Simmons: Well, because you did rock last time. That's all that's out here, is rock and dirt.

Grif: Yeah, this canyon sucks.

Scout: There is some grass and trees around here too ya know.

Simmons: Nobody cares Scout.

Scout: (flips Simmons off) Hey Simmons look! My middle finger likes you!

The Cliffs

Tucker and Church are watching Tex fix the tank from the cliff's edge. Caboose is behind Tucker looking through the sniper rifle while Sammy is trying to shoot the birds.

Church: How long do you figure until Tex fixes the tank?

Tucker: Not much longer. She said it's going pretty well. The gun's almost working, and then she'll get it moving again.

Church: (sarcastic) Oh, that's just fantastic.

Tucker: Why would that upset you?

Church: Because as soon as she gets the tank online, she's gonna use it against the Reds, and they're all gonna die.

Tucker: The Reds dying is a good thing.

Church: No, Tucker, it's not a good thing. As soon as we beat the Reds, Tex is outta here. And I still haven't figured out a way to get that A.I. out of her head.

Sammy: Tex is gonna leave!

Caboose: A.I. ...

Church: Shut up, Caboose. And if I don't get it out before she leaves...

Tucker: If she leaves you won't ever find her again.

Church: Right.

Tucker: So what're you gonna do?

Church: I guess I'm gonna do the only thing that I can do. I have to warn the Reds before she fixes the tank.

Tucker: You're switching sides?

Church: Sorry, guys. I don't have much choice.

Caboose: Church, uh, wha-what happens when the Reds out here.. to stop Tex, and then they come also with guns and they find us..?

Church: I'll try to help you as best I can. Good luck, guys.

Church fades away.

Sammy: Well crap.

Caboose: Does this mean I should try to kill Church now?

Tucker: I tell you what: kill me. I promise not to come back.

Caboose: Hey! LOOK AT THIS. (focusing on Donut)

Tucker: No.

Caboose: They have A GIRL. They have a girl!

Tucker: A what?

Caboose: A girl, a girl! Look! Pink armor!

Tucker: Oh man, how come they get a girl?

Tex: (from below them) Uh, you guys realize that I'm a chick, right? And that I'm standin' right here? And that the one in the red and green armor is a girl too, right?

Tucker: Yeah, Tex, but when we say a girl, we mean a girl-girl.  

Tex: And what the hell does that mean?

Caboose and Tucker: (backing up from the edge of cliff, out of Tex's sight) Nothing!

Tucker: Wait a second. If Tex heard that, do you think she heard Church's secret plan to warn the Reds about her?

Sammy: Most likely.

Caboose: I don't know... but I think I know how to find out.

Caboose steps back up to the edge, looking down at Tex

Caboose: Hey...! Tex! Uh... Did you hear Church's secret plan to tell the Reds that you were fixing the tank?

Tex turns back to the tank then Caboose backs up to join Tucker.

Caboose: I don't think she knows. ...Unless she can read minds... She can't read minds, can she? ...Can you hear what I'm thinking?

Sammy: Yes we can Caboose. You are thinking out loud again.

Caboose: Oh.