Over and Over

Chapter 4

(Holly's P.O.V)

Danny and Ben stood on each side of me as we entered the house of sickness. I wanted to run back home and bury myself under my sheets. I need to wake up from this nightmare!

We got to the 3rd floor and saw Liz and Andrew talking to a Doctor in front of Liam's room. Bella and Dan was also there, the police officers from last night. I went ahead of the guys to Liz and she cupped my face, "Okay?" I didn't know the answer to her question, yet I nodded.

"Is Liam okay?" She pulled my arm towards the chairs and made me sit.

"Me and Andrew were just talking to the Doctor and he said because of the injury in his head which happened during the accident..."

"Liz, please tell me." I put my hand into hers and squeezed it.

"He's...He's fallen into a coma, I'm sorry!" Her tears fell uncontrollably, running down her face.

"Don't be sorry, it's not like it's your fault!"

"If I didn't call her over then she might've been alive."

"It's not like you can predict the future. Nothing is your fault! Your awesome! Thank you for being my second mum." I enfolded my arms around her. "It's not your fault. We can't control fate. I guess this is a nightmare come true." I couldn't manifest my pain any longer as tears filled my eyes so I ran towards the balcony, Danny's hand held me but I shrugged it off without looking back.

My phone buzzed in my pocket, 'Barbra' It was actually Luke but just in case someone 'accidently' had to go through my phone and take his number. I slid my phone across using my thumb as a tear drop fell onto the screen. I held the phone to my ear as I hid my face behind my legs. We both held a grieving silence.

"Hey." He said. I could sense his dejection.

"You okay?"

"I guess, you?"

"I don't know."

"I'm sorry, Jack called me and told me what had happened and I tried calling before, but yeah." He meant 'Kirsty' which was Ashton or Michael, I can't remember.

"I don't see why everyone is sorry. It's nobody's fault."

"I'm going to put you on speaker, the band wants to talk."

"Ok."

"Hey Holly, We heard about everything and we just wanted you to know we are thinking about you and we love you and we are taking off in this bad arse plane in 20 so we'll be with you soon!" Ashton said. His voice was just so sweet, it made everything seem... normal? Good? I don't know but it sure did make things seem... Better.

"See you later then."

A burst of, "Love you!" and "Bye Hal!" Sang through my speaker before I turned it off.

I looked up at the sun, my eyes stung a little. I just looked back to the memories in my mind to when we were younger and how happy we were even though we had our ups and downs, but always got through them. I wish yesterday weren't a down. I wish we could've got through it.

"Hey..." It was Bella. She wore her hair in a bun and her uniform. Her face was slightly tanned.

I wiped my face using the tissue she handed to me. "Before you say anything, I just wanna say that I'm sorry for last night. I was bang out of order!"

"It's fine! It's just a hard time."

"Yeah." I whispered.

"The funeral can happen this week. If you think your ready, you are able to see them now, would you want to?" I signalled a yes by nodding my head.

"Can my uncle come too?"

"Yeah sure, is he the man in the white tee?"

"That's him. But can we do it in a while? I want to be on my own." She hugged me as I sat on the edge of the balcony, squeezed my shoulder and left.

I felt alone. I mean; despite having everyone's support, having Liz and Uncle Danny and everyone... I felt alone. I just wanted to cry 24/7, but to be honest I was never really the crying type. I always bottled up. I guess that's what I'm going to do now. I wanted them back even if it was for a minute, I'd get to tell my mum that I was sorry and James that I would never do drugs because he raised me well alongside with mum. That I was proud of them and that I need them more than I had ever expected.

"Are you sure?" Uncle Danny asked.

"I will have to sometime." I mumbled. I took a deep breath as Danny put his arm around me and we followed Bella.

As we got closer to the room I could feel my heart finding a way to escape. My mind trying to faint. I needed someone to attack me in these isolated hospital halls.

No, I weren't going to back out. The least I could do is not let them down.

"Are you ready?" I took a deep breath and walked through the blue doors held open by Bella, which had a sign which said 'Private'. There was a massive velvet curtain hanging in the sky. My mum and brother were behind there. Muted. Forlorn.

Why can't our life be a video game? Press restart and carry on.

I could tell that I had stopped breathing. My hands clenched into a fist as I dug my nails into my skin. My heart beating faster for oxygen.

Bella walked over to the rope on the curtains and pulled them. As they opened, pale features appeared. I didn’t know how to react; I walked ahead until the glass which split us apart; where she and he laid. My hands trembled as I lifted them to touch the glass to confirm I was in reality.

"Mummy....James...." I gasped for air as I broke down into tears, bawling. I tried so hard to stop, but my body trembled, my body drowned. Uncle Danny squeezed my shoulders as we stared at the corporeality.

I exhaled a long breath and ambled my way over to Bella. "Can...Can I go inside?" She looked over my shoulder at Danny. I didn't look back at him, yet I sensed his approval.

I lost my balance as I took my first step into the luminous, confined, boxed room. Me, Mum and James. Me, Mum and... James. I wiped the top of my lip using my sleeve and walked towards them. They laid, still. Faded colour trickled through their body in the luminous room. A scar running down James face from his eyebrow to his ear. My mum had a bandage on her arm and stitches on her neck. Her light brown hair fell off the bed. Her arms were by her side. I mounted my arms up as my hand melted upon the separate bed sheets they both laid on. "Mum! I'm so sorry! I should've just listened! I'm sorry! And James I don't think I've ever expressed it enough but I do love you in some shape or form. You were an awesome bro, thank you!"

Authors note:

What's up guys? Thank you for reading this chapter :P

I've just noticed how depressing the beggining of 'Over and Over' is, I swear things get better x So keep on reading!!!

If you ever need anyone to talk to; just follow me on twitter and ask for a follow back I gurantee you I will follow back!

Your so beautiful, you just don't know it yet! Do whatever the fuck you want and the way you want it because YOU are AWESOME!!!

The good girls video was epic! The trailer was a bit creepy tho. BUT OMFG MIKEY. LUKE. ASHTON. CALUM. My gawddddd...

#GetWellSoonAshton poor him :( They were coming to London aswell :(( (Extra sadness)

And a MASSIIIIVVEEEEE THANK YOU to @catie_mpc for making the cover to the story! Ilysm xx She's also writing a story atm called, Trapped! You should check it out :PPP

Follow me on twitter @EPpunkSOS

See you later guysss!!!!

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