Over and Over

Chapter 6

(Holly's P.O.V)

I stood in front of the church on my own greeting family, mostly friends grieving about their death with me. Death, what a big word? I was too tired of seeing people grieve. Too many people and one of me. Quit it!

Uncle Danny and mostly everyone stood further away from me waiting for the hearses to drive in. Ashton kept looking back at me. Well I think he was looking at me and I hoped he is because I just waved and it would be so awkward if he weren't. Yes! He was. He smiled and waved back along with Calum doing the same, awkwardly. Why does this make me so excited and tingly? Whatever he said yesterday really helped me. The stain of his lips on my forehead remained. The words which came out of his mouth echoed. This isn't normal. Is it?

The men/ boys wore black suits and women wore black dresses except for me. Black skinny jeans with a grey,black blouse and black vans. Not even the boys could pull it off. I promised my mum, I would never wear a dress in her presence, she might even be laughing in heaven at the fact I obeyed my promise from when I was 7.

Two hearses drove through the gates of the Church, 'Mother' and 'Son'. Reality struck me once again and a tear rolled down my face.

Luke jogged over to me to hug me, "Go inside." He whispered.

I took a deep breath in the act of walking through the gigantic church doors, down the aisle to feel eyes on me. Hearing voices fading from the people dressed in black except from the soft melody of the organ playing. My footsteps echoed until I took my seat at the front in between Lauren and Mali, Ashton's and Calum's sisters with Emily sitting on the bench behind.

"You okay?" Lauren asked.

"Fine. Tired. But fine." I say taking a deep breath as Lauren hugs me. Harry, Ashton's little brother, walked over to me and squeezed in between Lauren and laid his head on my shoulder wrapping his arm with mine.

"Is Liam going to be okay?" Harry was Liam's best mate and another younger brother to me. He was so sweet and reminded me so much of him except Harry is more punky and Liam is well... Liam.

"We hope for the best, mate!"

I could never imagine before how much I could miss them all. We take so much for advantage. I didn't know how to answer his question because that question has been spinning in my head aswell, but I'm honest to him and that's all that matters right now.

Liam was still in hospital. The doctor said that it will be long term coma. I don't feel right doing this without him. It's his family too, but we had to carry on according to Uncle Danny.

There was people from the military too, I guess some of them were officers and those fought alongside with my dad. I could tell because they were in camoflauge green and wore badges on their blazers.

Everybody suddenly stood on their feet. It was to pay their respects, I stood and stepped forward and looked back at Luke, Jack, Ben and Uncle Danny holding Mum's coffin and Andrew, Calum, Ashton and Michael holding James's coffin until the front of the church. They all stepped down from the stage at the front of the church and sat on the benches around me, where all the 'Kids' are supposed to sit.

The priest spoke for a good 15 minutes, it didn't seem like anybody was listening, everyone were in their own worlds except I didn't care because I weren't either. I was never really religious. My mum was.

My mind was lost in my thoughts of my future, Where will I go? Is Uncle Danny going to stay? Will Liam wake up? Does this all mean i'm an orphan?

"Holly." Mali said, shaking me from my chain of thoughts.

"Holly, will you like to come up and say something?" The funeral director says leaning his eyes into mine from a distance from where he stood on the stage,

Everyone who sat near me, smiled signalling that it was okay. Ashton even winked. I believed them and pulled out the flashcards out of my front pocket of my jeans and straightened my blouse. I jogged lightly onto the stage where the priest was standing behind the pulpit and stepped on a small stool so I was tall enough to reach the microphone. This is so awkward.

"Hi! My name is Holly an I'm the daughter of Sophia and I'm James sister. I'm not used to speaking to so many people so sorry if i say something wrong and mess up. Erm I'll start off, talking about James. JAmes and I never really saw eye to eye when we were younger. I always thought of him as an idiot and a jerk because he always used to be SO annoying, but I guess he was just being a brother! When we growing older we bonded through music and computer games. Yes, we were like massive nerds. He's probabaly the only reason i'm doing a bit better than average at school. I never really expressed it to him, but I do still love him in some way or form. He was like a dad to me, I guess, when we didn't have one. He always stuck up for me and Liam. I've always been proud of him in everything he has done for the family and all his achievements. Love you bro." I say taking a glance at his coffin. I took a deep breath and held back my tears. "Well, my mum and me always had a good relationship because we were the girls in the house, doing eachothers nails and hair. I was never good at it! I once burnt her hair, ran away to Lauren's and waited until she noticed and calmed down. The funniest day ever. I didn't get in trouble that day because she did realise she put a straightner in my hand." I stopped and took a sip of water until everyones chuckles had silenced. "I guess all i'm trying to say is that we had our ups and downs, but we always got through them. Yet on the last day we couldn't do that, so I wanted to apologise in front of everyone, I'm sorry mum... I love you too. I'll do whatever I can to make you proud. I'll take care off Liam and everything. So you stay worry free up there! You did alot of it when your soul...When your soul was here with you on Earth. I love ya and i'll...miss you." I jumped off the stage onto my feet before I burst into tears and ran towards the exit of the church. I promised I wouldn't do this. I'm so pathetic!

I just carried on running, I didn't know where I was going. I suddenly stopped, looked to my left. The horn of the white light stuns me in the face.

Authors note:

Hiya you awesome people!! What's been happening lately?!

I hit 400 readers omfg! I actually thought when I started posting that i'd be tottaly rubbish and nobody would read and i'd get so much critism! Ahh ilysm for all the positivity and love! ILY guys SO MUCH! Like DAMN! Thank you for voting aswell and if you followed me on twitter! If not, follow me @EPpunkSOS and DM me or send me a tweet! I'd love to get to know you!

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