Sincerely Yours

Ëłêvęñ

Nate

Next thing I know, it's ten at night. I'm on the couch, buried in blankets and Aiden Pattinson. Well, I'm not buried in him, I didn't mean it like that—he's just on me at the moment, you get it.

We were wrapped up snug in each other's arms and our faces were dangerously close together. I prayed to whatever there was out there that the man wouldn't wake up. Or move. Mostly because I didn't want to get kissed or something similar and have a heart attack. Partly, because he was so warm. I had been hugged by Tristan, comfort hugged by Tristan that was also kind of a cuddle, but nothing measured up to the way Aiden held onto me. We didn't know each other that well, and yet he held onto me like I was all he had.

Yet there was nothing going on between us.

I wish it totally felt that way.

But no, I heard the way his heart raced when we innocently touched; I felt mine pound against my chest. Fuck.

Eventually I decided that the constant buzzing that had initially woken me up was a good enough excuse to get out of this. "Aiden. Aiden, your phone's ringing," I nudged his body, moving a little as well. He breathed in deeply, I was actually tempted to reach down and brush away the elongated dark curl dangling in front of his eyes. Which slowly opened and revealed their bright icy blue irises. The same irises containing the pupils that dilated as soon as he realized he was looking at me.

I felt my ears grow hot and sudden panic rang through me. I pushed myself away from him as soon as his grip loosened. I placed my hands over my chest and stomach, as if I could get the flutters and rampaging butterflies to stop for even a second. God, it was Aiden Pattinson for crying out loud! Not only was I sure I didn't like him, but he also was way out of my league anyway. There was no way this was real.

"It's just Caleb probably wondering where I'm at. We lost track of time, huh?" A sleepy lopsided grin graced his lips but when he saw the look in my face he forced himself fully wake and sat up. "Hey, you alright?" I didn't respond. The last week played through my mind over again. We hugged, I let him snuggle up in my arms like it was love. I smiled at him and cuddled with him. We napped together on my couch.

What was I doing?

"You need to leave." I whispered, earning a look of pure confusion. "Nate?"

"I don't want you here. Go." I rubbed my temples as they started to throb in a sudden overwhelming stress. I stared at the floor in front of me. I could feel his eyes on me, intense like when we had first met. Only this time I didn't think it was a good intense.

Like the stubborn asshole he is, he stayed planted. "Nate, I really don't think that's true."

"Well it is, Aiden," I flickered into eye contact, and though I was sure he could read every emotion in my eyes, I stuck to my word. "Get out." I stood up, anxiously fidgeting with my fingers at my sides. I couldn't fathom anything. I swore to a lot of things in the past three weeks, and in the last one I went against almost all of it. How?

Why?

Aiden slowly stood up and stepped forward, reaching for me. I forcibly flinched away. I wanted him to touch me though. Why did I want him to touch me? "Stop, I don't want you!" He stopped then. "Get out of my apartment!" The atmosphere grew dense and suddenly stuffy. Like it had at Estelle Elena. It choked me, I couldn't breathe.