It's all because of you

I surrender who I've been for who you are

"For nothing makes me stronger than your fragile heart 
If I had only felt how it feels like to be yours
Well I would have know
What I've been living for all along"

The song for this chapter is "Turning Page" by Sleeping At Last. One of the most beautiful love songs ever in my humble opinion.
This chapter is a little different: more dialogue, and sort of a transition chapter.

-Him-

A sense of serenity and wholeness overcame him. Her little hand was his lifeline. If she was alive, he was alive. And he hadn’t really been living in the weeks he spent away from her. He knew that now. He was angry at himself, that it took her nearly dying to get it through his thick skull.

The tranquility that she conveyed through touch must have been enough to tip him over the edge into sleep. Allah knows he needed it. He always did sleep better when she was in his arms.

He woke up to someone clearing his throat rather pointedly near him.

He opened his eyes to see Nihat Bey towering over him, looking very disgruntled. Something about that man always made him feel like he was 16 and got caught sneaking in her room. Which he kind of really wanted to do sometime. Now is not the time idiot!

“Uh, Nihat Bey, günaydin.” he sat up straighter in his chair and hastily removed his hand from hers.

He snuck a glance at her before standing up and surveying the room. She looked a little awkward and concerned about her family’s reaction, but he could see the hint of a smile there too. Leyla held her father’s arm, whether to console or reign him in he couldn’t tell. Her mother was giving him a look that actually frightened him.

“Günaydin Can Bey.” Leyla was polite but cool. “It’s probably best for you to go home. I’m sure Emre can update you on anything that happens.”

The thought of Emre knowing more than he did, being closer to her and her family than he was, wounded something in him. He nodded, avoiding eye contact as much as possible.

He looked straight into her eyes. “I’ll talk to you soon, tamam? Çabuk iyileş.”

He didn’t want to leave her, but he thought he might be the next one in a hospital bed if he stayed. Nihat’s eyes bore holes into him even as he was leaving.

The drive home seemed to take ages. He felt his head nod several times and knew that he shouldn’t be driving in his condition, but he was almost there.

“Can? What are you driving?” Emre looked amused and concerned.

“Emre? I thought you’d be at the office.” he slammed the rickety door shut.

“I thought I was probably needed here more. Besides, I knew her family would kick you out when they got there.”

“Thanks Abi.” he rolled his eyes at his brother. “She’s alright. I know she’s in good hands.”

“That is what I told you this morning. And what about you? Iyisen?”

“I just need a shower and sleep. I’m going to check on her in a few hours.”

“Can, I don’t know if you should go back.”

“Why not Emre?” he was getting angry with him again.

“I just think we should talk first, that’s all.”

“Yeah. Alright. I’m going to head in.” he was still irritated and dismissive but deep down he knew Emre was right.

The warm spray of the shower helped calm him. The water on the shower floor turned a muddled light brown as he washed the grime off. It was weird to think that this time yesterday he was on top of a mountain. Just him and his camera. He couldn’t be mad about how drastically his circumstances had changed. He knew he wasn’t happy up there.

Not that it was going much better back at home. Her parents hated him and Emre was treating him with kid gloves. It was eating him alive that no one had called him when she got hurt. He checked both phones. Nothing. Had he burned all of his bridges when he left? Did everyone in her life think he didn’t love her?

He dried off and put on sleep clothes. His bed had never been more comfortable. He lay awake for a while thinking, mostly remembering her face. She didn’t really look that different. It had only been three weeks since he last saw her, but in his mind he imagined she would be changed. Maybe she would have a new job, new attitude, maybe she would cut her hair. Some of the scenarios he came up with to torture himself. That she found love again, and that her family and friends loved her new man. The fact that that could still be true was tucked to the back of his mind.

He squeezed his eyes shut and forced himself to think of the positives. She was alive, she was in good spirits, she asked him to sit with her. When he held her hand, she gripped his fingers in return. A smile played on his face. He had hope.