"You hold me without touch
You keep me without chains
I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love
And not feel your reign"
The song for this chapter is “Gravity” by Sara Bareilles, an oldie but a goody. Every time I listen to it I get a new meaning from it. It's sort of sad and brave and hopeful and full of love all at once. Kinda like our girl Sanem.
-Her-
She wasn’t really listening to what the doctor was saying. Her eyes were still locked on the doorway where he exited minutes ago.
“Sanem?”
“Huh? Um yes?”
“You should listen to the doctor. He might discharge you this evening but he has specific instructions.” her mother was scolding her like a child.
She nodded and listened.
“Sanem, you had a serious accident. We are going to run a few more tests to make sure nothing else is wrong and if they come back negative you will be able to go home. As for your injuries, we would like you to continue taking your pain medication and keep your ankle elevated. Thankfully it’s just a fracture, but we want to be sure it heals correctly. Keep the brace on your wrist except for bathing, and we will have you check in with your regular physician tomorrow and you will continue care with them.” the doctor turned to her mother to give some instructions on keeping her cuts clean and what ointment to use.
He turned back to her. “You got very lucky. If you hadn’t been wearing your helmet, we would be looking at a very different prognosis. You should have been wearing body pads too, and you should in the future if you ever drive a bike again. Someone really must have been looking out for you.”
The doctor didn’t know how right he was. She forces herself to relive the memory of laying in cold grass, the amber pendent burning her chest, so that she can never forget it. She could feel him then. It was like his life force seeped into her. Keeping her there. And a little of her spirit reached out to him where he was. It was a miracle.
She remembers how she woke up for the second time in the hospital when her mother and father rushed in to be by her side. Leyla had noticed Emre holding her hand and a look passed between the two.
“She was a little scared when she woke up here. I told her she was going to be alright.” he looked back at her and smiled. She smiled back at him. It was funny how things changed. He was truly a different person. A good man.
“Thank you Emre.” Leyla whispered as her mother and father surrounded her and blocked her view of the pair.
The doctor had come in to tell them what happened. Her mother cried into her father’s chest. Leyla took Emre’s seat and was holding her hand. Emre helped explain what he thought happened based on the scene he encountered. The doctor thanked him for his quick action. She was hypothermic when she got there. She probably couldn’t have waited for an ambulance.
It was late at night and visiting hours were ending. The doctor ushered her parents out with promises to contact them if anything changed. While her mom and dad spoke with the doctor, she spied Leyla giving Emre a hug. Leyla’s hand lingered on his arm a moment and she wiped a tear before turning and waving goodbye to her.
They were all there again at the foot of her bed, all except Emre. She hoped he got some sleep. And that he would tell Can what happened. She didn’t feel strong enough to tell him. It was embarrassing enough explaining to her family what she was doing at the cabin all by herself. She knew they thought she was crazy. That she maybe was desperate and lovesick and reckless. She would never do that to her family, no matter how bad things were. Besides, she was actually happy when she left the cabin. But she had been reckless. She didn’t know how to drive the bike very well and she knew that. She vowed to never do anything that stupid again.
“You rest now baby. We will be back this evening to get you when you are discharged.” her mother was patting her head and stroking her face.
“Okay Anne. I love you.”
“We are going to set up the sitting room for you to rest in so you are more comfortable. Love you, kizim.”
“Thanks Baba.”
“See ya ablacim!”
“Bye Leyla.”
Why had it taken her nearly dying to realize what she had right here the whole time? She had always loved her family, but she had taken them for granted the past few weeks. She had been in a daze. They quietly supported her, helped her. She barely noticed. It was true that she was going through something monumental in her life. She was trying to pick up the pieces and make them fit, but they just didn’t. Hewas the missing piece.
She was trying to figure out how to live without him.
She realized that she had. She finished out her two weeks at the agency by herself. She started writing again. She drove that damn moped by herself, even if only half the trip was successful. He wasn’t the one who picked her off the ground and brought her to safety. He wasn’t the first one to visit her in the hospital. She wasn’t about to discredit whatever miracle had occurred with her amber necklace, but she recognized that wasn’t the only reason she was sitting here mostly okay.
Now she knew she could live without him, but she didn’t want to. And that was the difference.
YOU ARE READING
It's all because of you
Fanfiction"But I would rather feel the sting Than never to have felt a thing I'll always know you were the one To rip me from the ground"
