"When my heart is ready to burst,
When the world spins in reverse
I'll keep running
To the place where I belong "
It makes me so happy that so many of you love the music. I actually get a lot of song inspo from fan videos. The videos this fandom produces are truly masterpieces and I just wanted to do a shout out.
The song for today is "Running" by James Bay.
-Him-
I need time.
Sanem
It hurt. He wasn’t going to pretend it didn’t. He fully expected her to say something like this, but it wounded his pride a little anyway. Pride is what got you in this mess in the first place.
He was getting pissed off at the little voice in his head, but for once he didn’t tune it out. He needed to respect her wishes and let her lead the way. That didn’t stop him from checking his phone every 5 minutes when he should have been writing emails. He needed to message the London firm that sent him to the Balkans and tell them that he didn’t complete his assignment and wouldn’t be going back. Hopefully attaching his notes and edited photos in the email would make him seem less unprofessional. Emre already knew that he was going to come back and take over at the agency, so he sent a quick email to Derren to update her and have her tell the employees that he would return starting Monday.
He was glad for the distraction of a few hours of work, but it still wasn’t enough. He wanted to call Umut for a late-night training session, but he decided to let the man sleep. What he really wanted was to see her again. To touch her and make sure she was safe. He did the next best thing and opened his laptop to look at the pictures he took of her.
He remembered how she was shy and uncomfortable in front of his lens when she did the women’s campaign. How she warmed up to him and it became so natural for her. He clicked on the picture of her in the white dress under the tree in his backyard that was one of his favorites. The first picture he ever took of her, and she didn’t even know. She didn’t know how deep in it he was already at that point.
He opened the folder for the pictures he took of them on the bridge and the docks that beautiful day in the sunshine. Was it over a month ago already? It felt like yesterday and years ago at the same time. At first all he could think about was how she tried to tell him her secret but didn’t. That all of the smiles on her face in those photos were hiding something, and it infuriated him all over again. But then something turned when he looked at one photo in particular. She was looking out to sea and she had a strange expression on her face. He thought of how hard it must have been for her to keep that secret. How scared she must have been of his reaction to hold it in that long. How he reacted exactly how she feared he would.
Something needed to change. In him. He needed to be unpredictable, but in a good way.
So he kept his head down and did the hard work of self-improvement. He returned to the agency just as he said he would. He gave her time just like she asked. He got updates on her condition via Emre. He suspected Leyla fed his brother information knowing that it was for his benefit. He let her do it because he also suspected that she liked talking with Emre more frequently and it was mutually beneficial.
After a week of this and no new messages from her he decided that it was okay for him to send her a nice cheery message full of support that was not at all desperate or begging for her attention. Right?
Sanem Hanim:
I hope you are doing well and healing at home. I wasn’t sure if Leyla told you, but I am back at the agency full time. So, I’m here if you are willing to talk. I’m not going anywhere.
Can
24 hours of waiting on a response was pretty good for him considering how diminished his will power was when it came to her. That said, he truly was desperate and couldn’t wait any more.
Sanem Hanim:
I didn’t mean to put pressure on you to talk. I just really miss you but I understand if you don’t want to see me.
Can
Yep. Pretty pathetic. Way to make it about you, asshole.
Sanem Hanim:
I know you have been healing well because I get updates from Emre. I hope that isn’t overstepping, but I had to know. I care about you a lot. I want happiness for you. It’s what you deserve.
Can
Better but still a little overbearing. It was hard not to be. He had never loved anyone or anything the way he loved her.
His phone pinged.
I never said I didn’t want to see you. : )
Sanem
He couldn’t wipe the stupid smile off his face if he tried.
YOU ARE READING
It's all because of you
Fanfiction"But I would rather feel the sting Than never to have felt a thing I'll always know you were the one To rip me from the ground"
