Fear Itself [ A Shoey Fanfic ]

|| Shane's P.O.V ||

i feel like i have to at least explain to joey. maybe i should just say i was drunk or high on my medication. i cant leave things hanging like this, it kills me.

i put my palms on the soft cushion of the couch, trying to life myself off the couch with the sheer pressure of my weak arms. maybe i should call for sawyer to help me, seeing that joey couldnt be more upset with me then he already is.

instead i pushed myself off the couch, my legs becoming numb and my arms weakening. i used the coffee table as something to push off of, lifting myself to my limp legs. i slowly edged to the stairs, phone in hand this time.

i grabbed the railing of the stairs with one hand and used my other hand to lift my leg up each day. luckily, i was beginning to regain feeling in my legs. but even so i was only halfway up the steps.

i needed to push myself to regain strength. so i did something psychotic. i went to the closet and got running shoes. i laced them up and limped down the stairs, walking slowly and wobbly towards the door. i avoided joeys gaze, yanking myself out of the door.

as soon as i stepped out of the door i knew this was a bad idea. the air was musky and foggy, and nobody was outside. i was already terrified of the world, and now im supposed to walk, in these conditions?

i bet my dad is out there, working his ass off to find me, this limp ugly creature that he made, then left, who treated my mom like garbage, who almost harmed the love of my life, who doesn't care for anybodys well being but himself.

i hadnt made it farther than the sidewalk in front of the apartment complex before i fell to the sidewalk, sobbing out loud tears. i didnt know how i was going to get back home, i was wiped out, my legs were shaking and numb. i didnt want to talk to joey, sawyer was in no condition to come down in help me.

i was trapped down here in the middle of the sidewalk in a busy LA street.

-----------------------------------------

hey guys!

sorry there havent been so many updates lately, im not so motivated for this book, but I'll keep writing it if yall like it! 😻

cate. 😽👌