Solace In The Silence ✓✓

chapter 4

Jake was indifferent to me, I decided. He had to be. There was a year's worth of lost opportunity between us now, and his silence spoke a thousand words. So then why had he felt the need to confide in Lynn about it? I'd thought, until moving here, that he'd wanted to forget that night ever happened.
Twenty minutes later, when I'd finally worked up the nerve to track Jake down again, I was devastated to find that a brunette had swooped in on him like a vulture.

They were huddled in the corner of the jam -packed living room. She was perched on the arm of a chair, and he was smiling down at her. Although her back was to me, she looked oddly familiar, and something awful squeezed inside my chest.
I felt a queasy rush roll over me as I pushed my way through the crowd, narrowly avoiding becoming a punching bag as people knocked into me with pointy elbows and other body parts I didn't even want to envisage.

As I sidled up to them, I gave myself major props for managing to secure a smile on my face. There was nothing to see here, folks. I was one cool customer.
Jake cleared his throat. "Bess, you remember Sera, don't you?"

Sera?

As in his ex- girlfriend of three years?
My worst fears came true when she turned to face me.
The wine in my belly heaved and threatened to come back up. Sera was here. Just like that night last year.
There was no other reason why she would be at this random college party, aside from wanting to see Jake, was there? I recalled Angie telling me they'd cut off all contact after the breakup, which hadn't been hard considering she attended a college in Diani.

Confusion ate away at me along with the alcohol.
Sera pushed her bangs out of her eyes, grinning up at me. I couldn't resist cataloging everything about her. She'd always been gorgeous. Her long, black hair was gathered in a side braid, her olive skin flawless and smooth with a slight dusting of freckles, and her short black dress was held up by boobs twice the size of mine. She was practically every male's walking fantasy.

"Of course, it's been a while." My voice sounded so small, and I hated it, but not as much as I hated myself for automatically crawling back into my shell. Old insecurities seeped in, threatening my newfound happiness.

"I know, I barely even recognized you!" Sera said, squeezing my arm affectionately. "You look really, really good."
I groaned internally. Life would be so much easier if Jake's ex- girlfriend was some evil wretch, but Sera had always been lovely. Angie and I had joked that she was the type of girl that could kill with kindness.

Jake and Sera had been high school sweethearts, and by the time I was seventeen, I'd resigned myself to the inevitable. They would get married, have a couple of kids, and be the perfect white -picket-fence family. I'd thought for sure that the idea of being with Jake one day was nothing more than a mere pipe dream.

So, when I'd discovered they'd actually broken up last year, it had rocked me to the core and provided me with the smallest glimmer of hope.
And now that said hope was being snubbed out again.
Sera showing up here had to be an omen. A reason not to ask Jake, point -blank, how he felt about me. I had my answer now. He definitely wasn't interested. Never had been. Never would be. Everything unraveling exactly the same way it had a year ago.
Oh God. I felt itchy all over. Coming over here probably hadn't been the best idea.

I shifted from one foot to another, glancing over my shoulder. As I looked around the room, I was busily planning my exit.
"Bess? You okay?" It was Jake. Softness crept into his voice and his stare.

"What?" I rasped. I looked back in his direction, but it was hard to focus on anything. "Oh yeah, fine. I'm just going to... uh, it was nice catching up, Sera." The words came out in a choked whisper, the pain in my chest making it hard to breathe.