Solace In The Silence ✓✓

chapter 41

That was when everything stopped, my heart included. My breath shuttered out in a gasp. "You love me?"
"Of course I do," he murmured. "All year, I've been trying to find the words... to tell you how I really feel." His voice was hoarse. "I love you, with all of me, and I always have, Bess, it just took me a while to catch up. But I'll show you how much I love you, I'll spend every day proving it to you, with everything I have, if you let me. Will you let me?"

Warmth spread through me, his words stoking the fire that still burned deep in my chest.
"Yes," I managed, finally. "Jake, I—"
His mouth landed hotly on mine, and I opened up to him, completely. There was no holding back anymore. No concern about falling apart if I let myself want this—want him—too much. He loved me, and the way he kissed me now left no room for doubt. There was no restraint left, either, so when his lips skated over mine softly, and his tongue slid into my mouth, my grasp on the towel loosened. I pressed closer, craving more. Needing more.

Everything had changed. It was reminiscent of the night I'd finally confessed how I felt about him, except this time, it was vastly different. This time, we were both brave enough to feel the type of love that swelled so high between us, to be pulled down by the undercurrent.
Both of us were breathing hard now, drowning in each other.
His hands traveled down my body, deliberately slow, and goosebumps broke out on my flesh when he reached the edge of the towel. My knees felt wobbly and I wasn't even standing. How was that possible?
"I missed you, so fucking much," he ground out into my ear. His lips trailed along my jaw, down my neck, and back up in the most scorching, reverent kiss yet.

Within seconds, an intense, searing desire had flared to life, but it was so much more than that, and I felt the shift within Jake, too. The pain and sadness and loss didn't exist at that moment, and the way his hands managed to hold me steady and set me free at the same time was like a healing salve for my soul.
Here we were, our bodies sealed together, the sound of rain falling on the tin roof, the open land. Surrendering to each other and surrendering to the fight we'd been losing all year: to stay away, to keep running from this.
I buried my fingers in his soft hair, seeking more of his mouth, more of his touch. Needing to feel every piece of him pressed against me.

Jake crowded my senses, the kiss growing deeper, and then he was lowering me back onto the bed, aligning our bodies. A shudder went through both of us, and he let out a long, low groan, the sound reverberating down my spine.
He slid his calloused palms up my thighs, over the flare of my hips, and then halted at the hem of the towel, which had slipped down significantly but still covered most of my skin. He was seeking permission, and when I didn't react, his fingers parted the scratchy material, revealing my cotton bra and panties.
"God, I could get lost in you," he whispered, tugging on my bottom lip.
I'm already lost in you, I wanted to say.

Finding more and more parts of myself; all the missing pieces you've been safeguarding.
A fervent hunger swirled, surrounding us like a powerful tornado. His hands traveled up my body until his knuckles skated over my most sensitive area, and my legs widened even further, inviting him in.
"You don't have to worry about hurting me," I told him breathlessly. "I won't break."
Not when it's you who's touching me.
Jake lifted his head, his gaze flashing to mine, and my heart spasmed. At that moment, he could see right through me, and those two-toned eyes were worshipping.

I felt his heart beating wildly under my palm, and his lips moved against mine, pulling shallow breaths.
"Are you sure, baby?" he said gruffly, trembling from the restraint. His eyes narrowed on mine, trying to detect even a flicker of hesitation. "We can stop. We don't have to do this tonight."
My heartbeat thumped off-kilter, and I was swimming with equal parts anticipation and fear. "I'm sure," I told him. "I don't want to wait anymore."
The sight of him positioned between my legs had my body on high alert, and when he guided himself into me, a pinching pressure grew. My thighs involuntarily clamped on him as the burning sensation stretched further and increased, and just when I thought it was over—that his thickness was all the way inside me—