Solace In The Silence ✓✓

chapter 23

To my overwhelming relief, I realized I wasn't the only one thinking that maybe this impromptu trip wasn't the smartest move.

"I don't think so. I mean, I understand why they want to go. Don't get me wrong. I think they should, but they have a daughter who needs them, now more than ever. Is it really fair to just get up and leave her?" I said, and then quickly added, "To leave you, too?"

His jaw locked down tight, and then he looked away. "Mm. I don't know what to think anymore," he replied, his voice rough with emotion. He seemed like he was on the verge of tears for a moment, but he blinked them away, cleared his throat. "I guess I just want Mom to be as happy as she can be, you know?"

Despite Jake's attempts to convince me otherwise, he obviously wasn't coping very well. My heart turned over heavily. He'd been in an impossible situation—having to keep Teresa's illness a secret from Angie and me. But even now that it was all out in the open, it really hadn't made things much easier for him.
I studied his striking profile, noticing that the shadows under his eyes had become darker, that his shoulders always seemed tense lately, burdened by carrying the weight of the world on them.

His gaze caught mine again and held. "Bess?"
"Yeah?"
"We're okay, aren't we?" There was a hint of worry in his tone, and his fingers felt like iron, clamping down on my upper leg.

I knew that wasn't what Jake was really asking me, but, for once in my life, I didn't hesitate. "I'm not going anywhere," I reassured him.

                        **********

"Y'ALL SEEM COZY." Lynn's lips curled into a delighted smirk. She looked in Jake's direction, who happened to be closing in on us, carrying two cups of coffee from the campus cafeteria. "Anything I should know?"
I almost sprayed water all over her, and I smacked my hand over my mouth.

"Oh my God. There is," she practically squealed, interest flaring in her eyes. "Spill it! You have about twenty seconds before he gets back here to tell me everything ."

I swallowed, flushing, and then I screwed the lid of my water bottle back on. The last thing I wanted to resemble was a human geyser.
Based on Jake's dating history—or should I say, lack thereof, seeing as Sera had been his only serious girlfriend—I wasn't exactly inclined to broadcast our relationship.

And even though we'd had 'the talk' last night, I still didn't know if Jake was ready for other people to know that we were together. Considering everything that had happened in the last twenty-four hours, I hadn't really had the chance to digest the fact that he wanted to be with me, too.

I'd been waiting for this day for what felt like forever—to finally be able to call myself Jake's girlfriend—but right now, I don't know, it just didn't feel like the right time. Not with everything else that was going on. But I couldn't exactly lie to Lynn, either. I was an open book.

Besides, it would be too hard to deny it—to claim that nothing had changed between us—when Jake had been showering me with affection all day. In class, his hand had never left my thigh, and when we'd been walking through campus, he'd draped an arm around my shoulder, pulling me into his side. And just a few minutes ago, before he'd left to fetch us both coffee, his lips had brushed the shell of my ear, and he'd whispered, "Have I mentioned how beautiful I think you are? I'm so fucking lucky."

My stomach and heart had tried to out flutter each other.
This had earned a curious glance from Lynn , which was totally understandable, but Gery had continued to sleep obliviously on the lawn, his baseball cap twisted forward to shield his face.

The temperature had increased by at least ten degrees since this morning, the sun filtering through the trees, beating down on us as we'd eaten lunch near the quad. The sticky humidity was making me sweat everywhere.