Bonded by the Blues | A Sander Sides Book

Chapter 46 - The Dooka

Well. The chapter the entire first two acts of the book has being building up to. Hope you remember little details from even the earlier chapters, because a whole lot of things get explained in this chapter. Please ask if anything is unclear, or if I've dug some plot holes.

It's quite an intense chapter, so a few content warnings: Violence, talk of suicide/ attempt, rape/ dubious consent, major character death.

The ---3--- indicates third person narration.

Read on with caution and please let me know what you think!

---Virgil---

If you could string my pounding footsteps into a noose that I hang from, you would have an accurate image of my life. I run away from me into nothing.

---Roman---

A drop, a trickle, a torrent, a roar, Virgil's name echoed through me as I watch his feet bear him away from me. My feet sank into the ground rendering immobile as I saw the flickering purple of his hair fade into obscurity as the darkness beyond the open broken walls swallowed him whole. The music fades, and I am left with no answer.

Silence reigns.

And then I hear the harshest sound my ears fear.

Laughter.

No, not of merriment, but of derision.

A snort, a giggle, a peal, a roar of scornful mockery assaulted me from directions too many to count, magnified by my own shame, the voice of my heart the harshest joke. I stared at the black whence he disappeared, and wondered why he sought its arms instead of mine. He denied me a simple answer, a word. Do I turn and hide away in guilt? But...

Why?

I needed to find out why. I need to find out what he feels, and if I hurt him I needed to make amends. The darkness will not have him, even if he will not have him, not while I still have strength in my hands and mind and heart.

I threw the microphone away and ran, my legs and arms pumping with intensity I have never felt before. Patton reached out to me, and I brushed past roughly.

I had to get to him, I had to. It was no longer my choice. I wish I could find him, before he flies beyond my reach.

---Patton---

I stumbled back, surprised more than hurt that Roman shoved me aside. Logan caught me before I fell. I looked as Roman too threw himself into the bushes that marched up to the crumbled wall like hunkering green plastic guards. I could not stop Virgil, and now Roman was gone too. I felt like a failure for not keeping my little family safe.

Logan held me. His hug had neither the warmth of the ones of my father from my childhood, nor the brisk affection of my mother. Not the physical comfort of people who needed cuddles for reassurance. But he felt closer than any before, as when he did make contact, it was because he really did care, rare but genuine. That was what Roman and Virgil wanted too, I realised. They were desperate as they were scared. They were scared as they were not safe. Safe as I was in Logan's arms, safe as I was with my family old and new, or safe as I was on my own.

"Give them some time," whispered Logan in my ear.

I nodded and eased myself upright.

"Hey! Folks, calm down, just a bit of drama." Felicity sounded cheery, but I could hear that she was a bit shocked too. "Let's keep the ball rolling, shall we? Where were we... oh yes, the winner of the dance competition."