Red Winter (AOT)

Dreamer

The light poured in the tiny window of your room. You could smell Hanji making pancakes in the kitchen.

Neither of these things could help you get out of bed this morning. Today, you were struggling.

Hanji left you be. No one texted you this morning and you did not make an effort to text them first.

Today you wanted to be left alone. Today was the day you accept what happened.

You cracked open a bottle of wine the moment Hanji closed the apartment door behind her.

Sitting on the floor you started to go through everything.

Thousands of photos had to be deleted from you phone and laptop. The gifts of jewelry you were given you posted on eBay for cheap. You set a time to go down to the pawn shop to get rid of your engagement ring. You had already thrown your wedding ring away in a rage when you found him in bed with... her.

Today was the day you were purging every part of Levi out, as well as welcoming every thought and memory of his back in.

You cried and drank, and drank a little more.

When you came back from pawning off the ring you poured another glass and the world around you started getting fuzzy.

You stopped crying and started letting your mind wander.

While pouring yourself another fresh glass of cheap wine, your phone started to buzz.

It was Marco from the mail room.

He always said hi to you every morning on your way into work, mostly because he had to wait for the shift change to start.

But, he asked where you were and... you were more than willing to talk.

Text after text you sent, pouring your heart out. It felt so natural to you because you barely knew Marco. It didn't even feel like you were talking to him; it only felt like you were letting go of everything.

After deleting the last photo from your laptop you noticed the bottle of wine had gotten very light...

...and your head felt even lighter.

You wouldn't find out until later that the words you had spent hours typing out, and sending to Marco, were incoherent jargon.

Peeling yourself off of the floor was hard enough, but trying to walk suddenly became a task of its own. You felt like a baby fawn trying to walk for the first time.

You downed an entire bottle of wine in an afternoon, and you were beginning to feel the effects.

The kitchen was closer to you than the bathroom, and it was a good thing too. That entire bottle of wine started to come up, and your weak legs could barely make it to the sink it time.

You slouched to the floor after your body rid itself of 3 glasses of that wine.

It had been a long day, and you felt tired.

You fell asleep on Hanji's kitchen floor, and your mind started to dream...

————————————

You could feel his smile on your neck.

It was early morning and he always woke up before you.

You bodies seemed to be woven into one another, and neither of you wanted it to be different.

You were in a private beach front home for your honeymoon.

You couldn't have been happier.

You rolled over and looked into his grey eyes, and they turned soft at the sight of you.

He held your face and pulled you closer to his chest.

"I love you so much..." his voice was low.

You smiled into his chest when he said it. Your stomach fluttered up like a thousand butterflies had taken off.

But then...

"I love you Petra."

Your heart stopped.

You opened your eyes to find that Levi had disappeared.

The house became dark and cold.

It was just you...

His voice echoed and progressively got louder.

"Petra, Petra, Petra, Petra, Petra, Petra, Petra."

When you closed your eyes and opened them again, the broken picture frame of your wedding photo sat beside you...

————————————

You woke up in a fury.

"You never played fair Levi! From the day I met you I.. I knew I couldn't have you! You can't love anyone but yourself!"

You grabbed the empty wine bottle and smashed it again the wall. You screamed at the newly shattered glass.

"You ruined everything! You ruined us! You ruined me!"

The door to the apartment opened up.

"(Y/N) are you okay?"

You were face to face with Marco and Jean.

"It's not fair..." You finally started to cry.

Jean ran up to you and pulled you into his arms. "It going to be okay... I've got you now."

You didn't even hear him...the sound of Petra's name was still bouncing around in your head...