Starting Over (G/T)

9

Dean POV 

I had to keep my temper down has I carried Emma out to the Impala to talk, also leaving Amelia and Sam alone so they could talk. I made sure that she was hidden, but it was only a few steps since we were parked right in front of the door. 

I opened the door and set Emma on the dash, where I knew that she preferred to sit, and I started the car. We were only going to take a lap through the small town, just so I don't risk someone seeing Emma. 

"Well I know you're waiting to let it out, so let's hear it." Emma said. 

"Just, what were you thinking Em?" I asked, still trying to keep my temper under control but feeling that starting to slip. 

"You were dead, everything in me was panicking. Seeing the light leave your eyes, I had to picture what my life was going to be like without you in it. I don't ever want to live in a world without you in it, I know I would never find that love again." Emma said, the whole time making eye contact with me. 

"But now we aren't going to be able to reverse the curse, not only for you and Amelia but for the kids. You shouldn't have sacrificed yourself like that." I said, the temper starting to come through. 

"Are you really going to sit here and be mad at me? I mean honestly Dean, you can sit here and vent because your frustrated and I guess that's fine but really what else could I do? I know I said I can't live without you, but right now I literally can't live without you. So you can sit here and throw a hissy fit because you have a wife and kids that you can carry in the palm of your hand, but you will not sit here and blame me for what I chose to do. I did what I had to do, and I don't regret it." Emma said. 

I took a few deep breaths and calmed down, she was right. I had a flash of what would've happened if I didn't come back and died. The thought of my children still hiding behind the leg of that table, scared and watching their father die, was more then I could handle. I believe in my wife and how strong she is, but I understood that right now she needs a little help. 

"I'm sorry, you're right. I just wish you didn't have to sacrifice yourself to save me, I'm tired of this family having to sacrifice everything just to stay together." I said. 

"Well you should stop your bitching and just take us back to the motel. I think we all just need to get some sleep and I really want to be with the kids right now." Emma said. 

I looked to the dash to see her looking right back at me, and I just had to remind myself of how lucky I was that we were even all alive, no matter what size. 

"You're right, let's get back to them." I said, already having the Impala heading towards the motel. 

Emma loved the rock music that played in the car, so for the last bit of the ride we both just sang along. I pulled into the parking lot of the motel, scanning the surroundings and noting the figure lurking down the sidewalk from our motel door. 

"Em, stay very still. I see something outside by our door." I said. 

"Do you really think that anyone is going to be able to see me? It's pitch black out and I don't know if you've noticed but I'm pretty small right now." Emma said in her joking tone, but I didn't have a good feeling about this. 

"Just don't move, trust me." I said in a low tone. 

I bent down and pulled out one of the fake parking passes for when Sammy and I were acting like priests, and set it on the dash. When I reached past Emma to put the pass in the windshield, I sneakily grabbed Emma has I was bringing my hand back. Once I had Emma I put my hand in my jacket pocket.