NINE:
YOU MADE ME LIVE AGAIN
Roger
1974Two years later and the band had come along way since that phone call in the Bulsara house. We had met with John Reid in the summer of '73 and we were now making a debut on the biggest show in England. He had become our manager in that moment, even setting us up for a promotional tour of Japan. This was great for the band. We were finally becoming a household name on this side of the pond. All the boys were excited. All four of us were excited. "Isn't this great? Tomorrow, we'll be performing on live television!" Brian said, taking a seat in the living room, finally joining the group. He had been working on some sort of space stuff. Brian said it was more than just stuff, but it was just stuff.
"Rog, maybe don't smoke in the house?" John said, looking up from his newspaper. "It's going to get trapped in here." I looked him dead in the eye, putting out the cigarette in the ash tray. "I appreciate it." I just grumbled, getting up from my armchair and marching into the other room. "He's still upset..." I heard John mention as I walked out. I didn't bother to turn around. As I walked down the hall to my bedroom, I stopped by an empty room. The empty room. It used to be lively, but now it just looked apathetic. I walked by again.
Maeve left about eight months ago to the day. She had had a fight with John Reid the day she left. We hadn't told her she was no longer our manager. We had just told her John would be helping us out, helping us go farther. John did not push her out lightly. He took full control from day one. Which was good, but not for Maeve. He shoved her out and she didn't know why until he told her the truth. Our truth. We betrayed her, and she felt it. And then she left. We hadn't heard from her since.
The next morning, we were picked up in a nice, fancy looking vehicle. We all piled in, talking amongst each other. I felt so excited then. We were to perform Killer Queen. We were shuffled into a large room with a stage set with instruments. I stepped up to the drum set, sitting down and warming up. "This is shit!" I hit the cymbal with my stick.
"Look chaps, it is going to be playback. Lip synch's all that's required." The director told us. We couldn't believe it. He wanted us to pretend? We're a band for fuck's sake.
"We do know how to play our instruments!" I shot back. Freddie wasn't pleased, I could tell. He was very close to the director's face, trying to convince him otherwise.
"I don't understand why we can't simply perform live." Brian interjected.
"The audience will never know the difference." The director added. The nerve.
"We'll know the bloody difference!" Brian shot back at him, swinging his guitar back over his shoulder.
"This is the BBC. That's how things are done
around here. All right? Don't be a nuisance." And with that, the director walked off. Fucker."Well, the way things are done are a load of bollocks, old chap." I told the boys mockingly. The Top of the Pops is not how I had imagined it would be. All playback. Nothing live. I didn't like it.
"This is the BBC." Brian mimicked, which got a grin out of me.
"I'm relieved." John said, holding his bass.
"You would be." Brian said under his breath.
"Perfect performance." John shrugged.
All of us were less than impressed, and you could tell in the filming. I lazily tapped the sticks against the drum, missing a few times on purpose when I knew the cameras were on me. Brian strummed messily, looking bored as ever. Freddie did everything he could to distract from his mouth, including some graphic gestures for television. John was John, to say the least. It was an alright performance, would've been better if we could've performed live. I was more than thrilled when we wrapped. That was painful.
I was grabbing my stuff from the drum set when I felt a pair of eyes on me. I looked around and nothing. I must've been in my head, so I went back to what I was doing. "If this music thing doesn't work out, I don't suggest you take up acting." I dropped my sticks. My body had tensed up and I had chills all over. That voice. I turned around to see her there. Maeve Carter.
"You came." Was all I could manage to get out, despite having so much to say to her. She came. I was in utter disbelief.
"Of course I did." She responded, stepping up onto the stage. She folded her arms across her chest, looking out at the rest of the room. "I didn't see John Reid, though." She said, obviously bitter.
"Paul's here."
"I wish he wasn't." She scoffed, looking back at me. I felt the chills appear again. Every damn time she looked over at me. Why did she do this to me? My heart was racing. I wanted to embrace her, to tell her how much I missed her. But I wouldn't. I gently took her wrist, pulling her to a corner of the room.
"How could you just leave like that?" I said, my anger starting to get the best of me. Short fuse, I have. "How the hell could you just leave and never contact us?" She ripped her wrist from my grasp.
"Oh I'm sorry, I just thought you'd replace me, just like you all did with John!" She snapped back at me. I had never seen her so angry. "I will not allow you to make me the villain here, Roger. That is unfair!"
"You left us without a word!" I shot back at her. I was angry now, but that certainly didn't scare her. She was fiery like that. "Do you know how worried we've been?"
"How worried we've been? Or do you mean how worried you've been?" She said calmly, looking me in the eyes. They practically burned into my soul.
I stayed silent for a moment. She already knew what I meant, she just wanted to hear me say it. She wanted the satisfaction. She folded her arms over her chest, waiting for me to answer her. "I was worried about you." I said calmly now, no longer enraged.
"I knew it." She said with a smirk. She was so smug. Her arms fell from her chest. "Roger, I'm sorry. I felt betrayed." I know she did, and rightfully so. "I just thought you, of all people, would have had the balls to tell me."
I swallowed hard, taking her small hand in my own gently. She looked down, watching as they intertwined. "I missed you." I said to her. "Bloody hell, I missed you."
She lead up, placing a warm kiss on my cheek. It made my whole face blush. I swear, this woman. This would never happen with any other woman. "I missed you too, Taylor."
YOU ARE READING
Born To Love You ↬ Roger Taylor
Hayran Kurgu"i was born to love you" "with every single beat of my heart" ~ roger taylor/queen story (played by borhap cast)