Cupid's Bow [Completed]

86

Hoseok

My nose was stifled and my eyes were reddened and teary. I spent the day with Namjoon and Yoongi just crying my eyes out, eventually, we all had to go home, me especially.

I was nervous, soon coming face to face with my mother. I took the advice from today to heart, now it was my turn to make a change in my life instead of just wallowing in my own pit of sadness. So, as I unlocked the front door to my apartment, I rehearsed every possibility in my head, every right or wrong path. Twisting the golden knob, the door swayed open and I sauntered in, kicking off my shoes right at the door. 

"Hello?" I called out, while stepping into the living room. My sister sat at the couch, watching the television intently. "Dawon-"

"It's Jiwoo, I changed my name, remember?" She plopped a piece of popcorn into her mouth, eyes still glued to the television.

"Oh, right." I scratched at my arm nervously, I guess I didn't mentally prepare myself enough. "Jiwoo, where's my mom?"

"In the guest room I think, Dad went to work by the way." I nodded, not verbally replying back. Jiwoo certainly took notice to my long held silence. "Hoseok, are you okay?" She finally looked in my direction, her eyes widening once connecting with mine. "Hobi, what happened?" She quickly stood upon seeing the red puffiness of my exhausted eyes.

"I need to go talk to my mom." Scurrying off, Jiwoo didn't have a chance to say another word before I disappeared into the hall.

I rubbed at my eyes that were now getting droopy and tired from crying all day, I expected to probably cry some more after talking to my mother. I don't know. I'm usually on the bright side of things but today, I can't help but feel that the odds of the world are against me.

I knocked on the guest room door, hoping to make this quick so I can get this over with. "Yes!?" I heard her yell from the other side.

Hesitation held me in it's grasp for a quick few moments, but heaving heavily, I gather my courage and opened the door. "Mom? Can we talk?"

Her eyes widened at my arrival, as if she didn't even recognize her own son's voice. she probably didn't. "Yes, Hoseok?" She perched down at her fluffed bed, a suitcase gaping openly right next to her. She was already packing to go, and my heart dropped.

"Mom, can I sit?"

"Oh, of course." She pushed her suitcase back, concern laced in her features, and as to why she seemed so worried? Well, I'm not so sure. 

Weighing down the bed lightly, I sat besides her, but not too close. "What do you plan on doing when you leave?"

A heavy breath was pushed from her nose, much too noticeably. "After your father helps me find and apartment, I'll get a job and finally be out of your hair."

"T-that's it? Then you're gone?" I inquired, my voice quivering in reflection of how I felt.

"Then I'm gone."

My fingers curled into the fabric of my sweatpants, gripping with some sort of hefty agitation. "Is this what you think we want?" I muttered lowly,  my jaw already clenching painfully.

"Yes." She answered, her voice steady but truthful.

"Is that what you think I want?" She kept her lips sealed, only fueling my hurt more because her silence spoke more than the words itself. "Ten birthdays I spent with out a mother. Ten school years I struggled with without you. Four shitty foster homes I had to go through because no one wanted me. One relationship I struggled through without you. The breakup I'm still getting over without you. The seven real friends I made without you. The two dances I went to without you... The first time I taste alcohol, the first time I drive, the first time I walk at graduation... it will all be done without you because you weren't ready to be a mother. I only have one life and one mom, do you really think I'd want to spend anymore of it without you? Do you really think that?"