Broken and Alone (A Vampire Academy FanFic)

Chapter Five

I lay on my side, the sheets pulled up to my face. Everything reminds me of him. I can imagine him laying in this bed, trying to finish the last chapter of his old western before he fell asleep. Silent tears fell down my cheeks, and I instinctively wrapped my arm around my stomach. The past two nights I have dreamt of him, and woke up crying. Lissa slept on an air mattress on the floor, even though I protested it. She didn't need to do that.

I swung my legs over the side of the bed, and stood up. I combed my hair with my fingers, and grabbed my coat. I, quietly, walked down the stairs and went outside. Chilly air blasted me in the face, but I welcomed the cold. I tugged my coat tighter around me, and continued walking down the street. I kept looking around for any lurking figures, but relaxed when I made it two miles without any signs. I started to turn around, and ran into someone. I stepped back, momentarily confused, and rubbed my forehead. That was when the aftershave hit me.

I looked into his eyes, and he smiled. "This situation seems vaguely familiar. What are you doing in Russia, Roz-se?"

I flinched at the fact that he almost used my old nickname. "I, uh, came here with Lissa. I ran into your family, and they asked me to stay with them"

He laughed. "I'm sure they did"

"Well, I should probably get going. It was nice to see you Dimit-Guardian Belikov. I don't want to get in trouble with Olena and Lissa"

I turned on my heel, but he caught my arm. I had a flashback to the night Lissa and Christian's romantic affairs had woken me up. We were in a similar situation then, too. Tears fell down my cheeks, and I pulled my arm away. "Don't touch me!" I screamed. "You left! You left me broken and alone! You have no right to touch me! What are you even doing here?" I asked, lowering my voice

"You obviously had no problem getting over me, Rose. I can do the math, you know. You had sex with Adrian around the same time you did with me. So, do not say that I left you 'broken and alone.' And, I came to see my family. If I knew you were here, I would not have come"

What I did next caught even me by surprise: I punched him in the face. Three times actually. One for me, one for my baby, and the last for fun. But, I did regret it. He cursed in Russian, and I apologized. I dragged him by his arm to the house, hoping I could fix his nose. I reached the familiar house, and opened the door. I led him to the empty spare bedroom in the basement, and had him sit on the bed.

I came back with a wet washcloth, and wiped some blood off his lip. "Did I break your nose?" I whispered

He shook his head. "No. And, don't apologize. I deserved it"

I let another tear slide down. "Usually, I would say you did... but I can't say it tonight" I was still whispering. He wiped away my tear, and I savored his touch. His hand traveled down my arm, and landed on my somach. I flinched, but stayed put.

"Sorry. Tasha... isn't showing yet. It's beautiful." he looked into my eyes. "You're beautiful"

I leaned closer, pulling him into an embrace. My eyes were unfocused. I was stuck inside my brain, wondering why I felt so bad for hitting him. I thought hurting him would make me happy. But, no. Here I am, hugging him, letting him stroke my hair as if we were still together. As if he knew I am pregnant with his child. As if he didn't run off and get Tasha pregnant. As if I wasn't mad at him. I pulled away, telling myself that I won't let him win. As I was pulling away, the door opened. I spun around and saw a tired, yet worried, Lissa standing in the doorway.

She saw my tears, and fixed him a cold glare. "Guardian Belikov, how are you?"

"Fine. Thank you, Princess" he answered, standing up

Her gaze fell on me, and softened. "Rose, you worried me. I thought you ran away or something. Come on. You must be tired"

I nodded, and followed her. She sent a death glare over my shoulder as I turned around.

"Should I tell your mother that you're here?" Lissa asked him

"No, I will just sleep down here. There's no reason to wake her up. Good night, Rose"

"Good night, Guardian Belikov"

Lissa smiled at me, leading me to the bedroom. "Will you stay in here the rest of the night?" She teased

"Yeah, of course. I just needed to take a walk."

I laid back down, hoping to get some sleep. But, I wouldn't be that lucky. I tossed and turned, whispering his name. Lissa was worried, and asked if I wanted to talk to Dimitri. For a question that sounded so stupid, it was one I couldn't figure out. After a few minutes, I gave in, and allowed her to take me to him. I walked downstairs behind Lissa, trying to keep my eyes open. I stopped in my tracks when I reached the kitchen. I opened the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water and made myself a sandwich.

"Hungry, Rose?" Of course, he would find me before I could find him.

"Yeah. It's going to be that way whether I'm pregnant or not."

He laughed, and I turned around. Lissa had left me with him. Great. We stood in an awkward silence for awhile, just staring at each other.

"So," I said dragging the word out. "Where's Tasha? I didn't think you would leave her side."

"She's with Christian. She thought it would be best if I saw my family alone. She thinks they hate her."

I laughed. "Well... they don't exactly like her, either. Actually, forget I said that."

"I know they don't like her, Rose. They've already voiced it. They seem to love you, though."

I raised my eyebrows. "What's not to love? You seem surprised."

He rolled his eyes. "That's not what I meant. It's just I didn't expect you to run into them, and end up living here."

I averted my gaze. "Yeah. Me neither."

He slightly tilted his head, studying me. "They didn't find you, did they? You found them. Why?"

I snapped my head up. "How do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Guess my thoughts! Am I that translucent?"

"No. I just understand you."

"Yeah, you do. And, that's what scares me. Even Lissa can't do that."

"Why does that scare you?"

"Because it means that I can't hide anything from you."

"What do you want to hide from me? I thought we could be friends?"

"We can-we are-but I don't want anyone knowing all my secrets."

He took my hand, but I pulled back. "I never thought I'd hear you say that. I've lost your trust, haven't I?"

"Of course you have! Why would you assume otherwise?"

"I don't know. Maybe I just wanted to believe we-"

Viktoria ran downstairs, and flung her arms around Dimitri. "Dimka!" She sobbed into his shoulder. I didn't know they were this close.

"I'm going to try and get some sleep. Wake me up when breakfast is ready." I teased

Viktoria laughed. "I'll be sure to do that. Have you been drinking plenty of water?"

I nodded and held up my water bottle. "Good night"