Broken and Alone (A Vampire Academy FanFic)

Chapter Ten

Death isn't painless. Well, near death isn't. Every time I tried to lift the weight off my eyes, I was pulled back into the darkness, where I was awaiting death. The pain was unbearable. I was starting to wish I would just die already. Why haven't I? Once the darkness consumed me, I knew I was going to die. I had accepted the fact. But, right when I was about enter the dark, painless abyss, I was pulled back into the painful cruelty of life. My eyes had opened for a second then, giving me a glimpse of Brianna and Lissa. That was all I needed to keep fighting. But, now, I was losing hope. I can feel my heart starting to shut down, but it keeps beating. I can hear my breaths halting, but they keep returning.

"Hurry!" Someone yelled. It sounded like Dimitri. His beautiful voice. The voice I've been deprived of for so long now. "She's barely alive."

I pushed the dark curtain that cut me off from the rest of the world aside, revealing Dimitri's breathtaking features. I groaned, and he looked down at me, smiling. "Hey." I croaked.

He caressed my face. "Hold on, okay? We need you to stay. You'll be better soon."

I closed my eyes, having trouble opening them again. When I did, Dimitri looked worried. "If I'm not... please, please don't leave Brianna..."

"I would never leave her, Roza. And you will make it. Don't give up. We need you." He grabbed my fragile hand, bringing it to his lips. "I love you."

Those three words kept me hanging on to my life. And my sanity. We must have left the wards, because ghosts, ones that I have been trying to avoid for the last five years, surrounded me, sending me the second worst headache of my life. I kept my eyes open, trying to block out the ghosts and focus on Dimitri. It was difficult, but possible.

When the weight on my eyes grew heavier, I felt a tear escape my eye. Then, one of my favorite people in the world was hovering over me. My beautiful Brianna. I attempted to wrap my arms around her, but my arms refused to move. Luckily, she wrapped her arms around me, seeing that I was struggling. I was able to move my lips, however, and managed to kiss her cheek. She cried harder, and held me tighter.

"Brianna, be gentle with your mom. Please." Dimitri said.

Brianna nodded. "I'm not hurting her. She wants me to hug her."

"How do you know that?" He wasn't convinced. Little did he know...

"I can hear momma's thoughts sometimes. Through Auntie Lissa."

His eyes widened. I let out a hoarse laugh, causing my headache to intensify for a moment. "Lissa saved Brianna when she was a baby, after a car accident. We lost our bond, but Lissa has learned to read my mind." By the end of my explanation, I had lost my voice.

He stroked my hair, noticing how much it bothered me that I couldn't talk. "Roza, shh. Don't talk. You'll make it worse."

I managed to nod. Brianna held one of my hands, pressing her lips to the back of my hand. She smirked. "You'll be okay, princess."

A tear escaped my eye. That stupid story. I never should've told her that story. She kissed my cheek where my tear had fell, wiping it away with her lips. There wasn't enough room in the car, so Brianna climbed up onto Dimitri's lap. He held her with one arm, still holding onto me with the other. He held on to me as if that could stop death from taking me. At some point, I drifted out of reality and was glad to be relieved of the pain. When I awoke, I was on a very uncomfortable bed in a room that reminded me of my own. Only, the room was decorated with pictures of me. Not like a shrine, but like pictures to remind you of happy memories. I sat up, still feeling a little light-headed. I blinked a few times, then pushed myself off the bed. I felt a tug in my arm, and saw a needle stuck in it. I nearly screamed. Worse of all, it wasn't attached to anything. Just a needle in my arm for no apparent reason.

I undid the tape that kept in from falling out, and gently pulled it out of my skin, shaking a little. I bit my lip, hating the way it felt. I found the bathroom, and stepped inside. I looked in the mirror, noticing just how pale and fragile I look. Well, not fragile. But, my tan skin was now pale, as if I lost a lot of blood.

"Sleeping Beauty awakens." Dimitri's voice sounded from behind, making me jump.

I spun around, looking into his gorgeous eyes. "Where am I?"

"You're at my apartment at court. How are you feeling?"

"Where's Brianna? I want to see her. Now."

His previous half-smile faded. "She's with Lissa. I told you I would take care of her."

I shook my head. "I need to see her." I walked over to the bed, and sat down. Dimitri joined me, putting an arm around my shoulders. I rested my forehead on the palm of my hand, and groaned. "You don't understand, Dimitri. There's a lot you've missed in the last six years. She... her bond with Lissa... she has the darkness surrounding her... I have to see her. I have to make sure she's okay." I was on the verge of hysterics, and shot up off the bed. I turned toward Dimitri, freaking out. "You weren't there when she laid on a hospital bed, close to death! You weren't there when the darkness consumed her like it did to me! You weren't there to comfort her when her depression was at it's worst! I was all she had during those times. She couldn't seek that kind of comfort from Lissa, no matter how close they are." I fell down, crying, and Dimitri quickly followed me, catching me before I could hit my head against the nightstand.

He stroked my hair, murmuring soothing Russian words into my hair. I clung to his shirt, feeling the madness come to me from Brianna. "Lissa told me everything. Including the fact that she charmed the necklace your wearing to take away Brianna's darkness." His voice revealed dissaproval.

My hand dropped down to my necklace, closing around the silver heart. Lissa charmed it to take the darkness out of Brianna and into me. "It was to keep her safe."

He pressed his lips to the top of my head. "I understand why you did it, Roza. I'm glad you did. I just hate that it hurts you in return."

I snuggled against him, savoring the moment. "Why would you think that leaving me would make my life better?" I asked abruptly, breaking the silence.

"I already told you: I was a distraction, and I thought it would help you become a better guardian. I wouldn't have left if that wasn't an issue."

"It was," I coughed, flinching at the pain it caused. "A very stupid choice."

"I agree, Roza. I hate that I missed out on five years of my daughter's life. I don't want it to be that way ever again."

I smiled through the pain. I don't know how long we sat on the floor, wrapped in each others arms, but a knock at the door interrupted our silent moment. Dimitri told whoever it was to come in, and my baby girl came to join us on the floor. She wrapped her arms around me while I shed silent tears. Maybe this family can be whole again...