life on tour//Jake kiszka

my minds in tennessee...

We're in Sydney!
Yes, its been 4 months since you met the boys and who would believe that 4 months ago today your childhood crushes would have took you on tour!
The European tour was a hit! You've never been to a concert with so much love from the audience-not just for the boys but for each other. Josh seemed to love every show more and more; he'd skip off stage with a wider smile painted across his face each night.

You're over halfway to completing your first book! It seems like just yesterday you wrote the first line and the euphoria of finishing the first paragraph was so overwhelming. It saddens you that your next first will be your first last paragraph. It's been a rollercoaster of emotions reliving everything to write it and you wouldn't change it for the world.
The best moments so far?
Germany was by far the funniest. Sam and Danny shared the 'Wettbewerb Bratwurst'...yourself and the boys, being non-German speakers, were speechless to be handed the 1 meter 'competition bratwurst'. Unsurprisingly Sam didn't let poor Danny stop eating till there was only a crumb to be seen lingering on the corner of his lip- the prize was a desert!
Ahhh Paris...you enjoyed this the most because Jake organised a picnic in the park looking on to the Eiffel Tower. It reminded you of the 'first date' you ever went on with him. Under the glorious sun you laid for hours talking about everything that sprung to mind. Of course you've had some down moments with him but you've bounced back stronger and closer. There's never a moment of silence when you're with Jake, which draws you to him most, you can't ever have a worry if he's there...

But back to the present! You're in Sydney with 4 of the most important people in your life and you're so happy to share this experience with them.
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After letting your mind wander to the past, you're brought out of your day dream by Jake's gentle touch.
"Ready to go?",he questions as he's eyes glitter in the morning sunlight .
"Yes, are any of you going to tell me where we are going?", you reply becoming inquisitively louder.
A chorus of voices echo in a symphony of denies.
Just as your about to step off the bus, you race to the bathroom and begin to be sick. Jake enters worried and holds back your golden locks.
"You don't have to", you whisper breathlessly.
"Of course I have to, what kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn't!",he utters lovingly.

Sitting up with tears dribbling down your cheeks, you wipe your mouth with some tissues that Jake gave you.

"It must be the jet lag", you sigh.
Guiding your head into his chest, comfortingly he states,"Don't worry you'll feel better soon and we don't have to go out if your not up to it."
"No,no,no I'm fine! I'm exited",you respond without hesitation.
"You promise?", Jake pouts.
"I promise..."

An hour later- the boys have blindfolded you and are leading you cautiously through dainty Sydney streets.
You've stopped.
Peeling away your blind fold, unveiling the picturesque harbour.
"We though this would inspire your writing!", chirps josh.
"Plus we'd love to share this with you",squawks Sam.
"Thank you this is amazing", you begin as you walk over to a little cafe looking into the harbour, "I couldn't have imagined anything better."
Still worried Jake whimpers, "Are you feeling better now?"
"Yes, much.", you smile savouring the moment,you sip sangria and soak in the sunlight.

The rest of the day seemed to fly by and the boys are already at the show. After the long day, you stay at the hotel and relax... You begin to think to yourself how the love you share for Jake has grown in such a short space of time and everything Danny, Sam and Josh has done for you. You wouldn't change this for the world...

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About 3 hours later, after the show, Jake opens the room door facing towards it. Talking away about how great the crowd were and how much he wished you were there to see it. He walks into the bathroom, freshening up.

"...I don't think we've ever played so well together. Anyway I hope you had a good rest because I was thinking we could do something special tomorrow, just the two of us?",he asks seductively.
No reply.
"Are you up for it?"

Slowly he peeps his head round the frame of the door to see an empty room and a made bed where a single letter lies.Tip-toeing over like he's in an awful dream, Jake reaches out for the letter. Ever so carefully he reads it:

'To Jake,
I wouldn't have been able to tell you this face to face, so here I go. It dawned on me that to finish writing my book I need to be in a stable environment-so I'm on the plane home. I'm not sure where home for me is right now but the closest thing I have is in England with my family.
I'll never forget the night we laid in your parents garden, searching through the stars because I knew I found someone so pure, loving and caring. I hate to leave this way but it's for the best. Promise me that you'll focus on your music more than you ever have before; you're an amazingly talented musician and never think otherwise.
You mean more to me than anyone in the world. You've loved, taught and pushed me through walls I never thought I'd see the other side. And of course I'll send you the first copy of my book; don't worry I didn't forget when you asked!

I love you.'

As his eyes beginning to swell with tears, his body becomes numb and week with despair, falling to his knees, the letter floats sorrowfully out of his hand. Only wanting what's best for you, Jake can only whisper,
"I love you too."