Never want to let you go a Calum Hood fan fiction

Chapiter 14 ( Final chapiter)

I stood there in shock definetly not expecting him to be there i mean few minuts before i was scrolling trough pictures of him with his girlfriend "How are you feeling Linds?" i kept staring at him till my vision became blurry i knew tears got to me, i felt my heart beating so fast it felt like i was litterally falling for him even more i don't know how there was something about him that drove me crazy for him every single detail of his face ,his body , "what are you doing here?" i asked him "we got a couple of days off so i came to check on you ... because despite all we were friends before all what happened and i just ... i miss you " i found it a little hard to breath his words hit me like poisned arrows "you're wasting your time here , go spend those days with your girlfriend and family " "Linds lets try to talk this out we never really had the chance to-" " we have nothing else to talk about " i said interrupting him and pausing between each word "But Lindsay -" he didn't finish his sentence i already turned and slowly walked away "Lindsay !! You know you will always be my friend and i will always care about you" i could hear him shout which honestly made me feel a thousand times worst "Listen here Hood you have already hurt her enough and you probably got away with it once but i can garentee you it won't happen twice" "sir i know its not easy for her but-" "no you don't have anything else to say you heard her she doesn't want to talk to you leave and never come back" "but sir..." " goodbye" said my dad before i heard him slam the door shut , i sat in on the couch in my mums arms sobbing as my dad made his way to the living room and sat beside me rubbing my back "sshh it's gonna be okay he's gone now "after a while i calmed down then took a deep breath, i headed upstairs to my room again i was gonna throw myself on my bed before freezing next to the window , i pushed the curtain away just enough so that i can see calum's house , i could see some of the lights peek out of the glass window , i sigh then close back the cutain what did i get myself into ? I should have never liked him now it's tearing me apart breaking every single bit of my heart , quick flashbacks of him come back his smile, his eyes, his lips i loved him and i sadly still do how am i gonna get out of this ? The pain that i felt was almost not human i had to put an end at this i had to ...

I jumped in my bed and slept for probably four hours , i couldn't sleep or stop thinking of him, i went downstairs and made myself a coffe mug then sat down trying to find a tatse for that coffee i took a couple of sips then threw it in the sink after that i opened the window to get some fresh air which was really cold considering the weather i closed it then locked my eyes on it as i kept remembering Calum's silouethe and all what he said and i started to feel those same butterflies i felt before then let out a sharp sigh , i slowly closed my eyes then felt the need to get on my knees , which i did then quickly ended up sitting on the floor hugging them , my mind working against me it was my worst enemy it was the reason i kept remembering everything and in the worst way tears slowly escaped my eyes as i started to get those damn memories and flashbacks again "no" i was slowly muttering "no no no no" i kept saying again and again "NO NO NO NOOO!!!" I said screaming louder each time till i couldn't feel my throat i cried even harder till the light swtiched on my parents came closer to me "sshh it's fine sweetie sshh" i could hear mum as she pulled me into a hug i stopped screaming and just let the tears scroll down my face after few minuts i took a deep breath then relaxed my parents helped me get up as i headed back to my room , layed on my bed then slowly closed my eyes.

the next morning i woke up feeling all dizzy , when i came downstairs mum had prepared me that breakfast full of vitamins and colors and all the stuff i loved i ignored all of it i was in no mood for eating "sweetie eat something" offered my mum as she pointed to the food " i don't wanna eat mum" "but you have to eat " "i'm not so hungry" "lindsay you have to stop this now" shouted my dad from across the room life goes on god damn you are not gonna ruin it because of a stupid boy who doesn't even know what you worth" "i'm trying dad" i said "well try harder stop crying now and all that crap you are stronger than this" i got angry because it just seemed like my dad didn't understand what i went trough was not easy to get over "dad do you think it's easy , that i could just get over ALL of this in a second?" I shouted "that i could forget everything like it was no big deal i lost a big part of me by loosing him okay" i said breaking into tears again , my dad banged his fist on the table " grow up Lindsay that boy is just a kid he left you for some other girl he is young he doesn't care about breaking you heart or leaving you and you're here crying patheticly over him" "Patrick stop" said my mum "no i'm not going to i'm not gonna let a little jerk like Hood ruin my daughters life, from now on i don't wanna see you cry while you're under the roof of this house okay? " he said turning to face me " one more tear escaped , i stared at my dad then said "no dad i can't" i said leaving the kitchen , i wore some slippers then added a jacket on my gray sweatpans and black hoodie "where are you going?" my dad asked "out " i said before throwing a beanie on my head then leaving , I closed the door then walked a few steps before hearing this voice call my name "lindsay !!" It was calums, butterflies creeped in my stomach but my heart shattered , I didn't want to turn around , i still had tears streaming down my face and didn't want him to see him , i kept walking walking and walking till suddenly felt this strong hand grab my arm "lindsay please stop" i turned around then shouted "WHAT?!" As i cried, calum was sort of surprisd to see me like that "Lindsay..... calm down" "no calum i won't now leave me alone " a few raindrops started to fall as i finished my sentence, he tried to pull me into a hug but i refused , he tried a second time but i pushed him away , he tried another time i gave up fighting i missed him i missed his arms around me i missed him in my arms even tough i weakly hit him i eventually stopped he nuzzeled his face where my neck was as the rain started pouring "i missed you " he whispered in my ear holding me tighter , i didn' t respond he just didn't want to let go of me even tough it was raining and we were in the middle of the road "i missed you so much" he whispered again i cried even harder " no you didn't " i finally say "yes i did' he answered finally letting go of me,His eyes landed on mine then slowly traveled on my face and the rest of my body "you became skinnier and more pale " " yeah sorry i don't look great i haven't been going trough such amazing times" i said uselessly whiping some drops of water off my face , calum fixed his wet hair then spoke up " i'm sorry i didn't mean to hurt you " "well hate to be the bearer of the bad news but you fu*ked up pretty bad " the rain was still pouring as a silence made its way to the conversation, " how can i fix it ?" Calum asked " you know what Calum you can't fix it " i said sort shouting " you can't f*cking fix it why ? Because i freaking love you with every bit of my heart - or at least what's left of it- and no matter how sad i'am feeling or how painful it is i'll always keep loving you and i hate myself for that i hate myself for not wanting to let you go i hate myself for loving you , but it's the truth part of me wil always keep thinking of you and my heart would start to beat a little fatser as i do " " lindsay ..." he slowly muttered " there you go mister hood i love you and i will never let you go " i said crying as my tears mixed with the water drops, i started to feel cold so i decided to leave , calum tried to stop me but i kept going "Lindsay wait" " no Calum no i'm tired i wanna go home" i said pushing him away from me . My eyes were facing the wet road as i tried to walk without falling , then stopped, it sounded like a car was slipping off the road , i turned my head to the left it was coming very quickly " LINDSAY WATCH OUT !" Those were the last words i could hear before the car hit me.