Never want to let you go a Calum Hood fan fiction

Prologue

Hello Guys and welcome  ~ ♥ 

So i wanted to write a fanfiction so damn long ago i've wrote a lot of imagines anf stuff but never really posted any today i want to give it a try i hope you guys like it and tell me what you think and sorry if there are any mistakes , i just started it so i'll post more parts very soon ;) .

Here's my twitter : @MalikftHoodxx i follow back ;) #JustSaying

xxx lots of love .

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Prologue:

I still remember that day , the day my parents said that we were moving from London to Australia , I couldn’t believe it “ Your father got a promotion out there so we’ll be staying in Australia for a little long while “ “But mum I don’t want to go , I can’t leave all my friends , my schoo-“ “ you’ll get a new school and meet new friends there don’t worry and you can keep contact with your actual friends by texting or calling them on Skype it’s gonna be alright sweetie” “Oh come on mum it’s not gonna be the same and I know I won’t make any friends there plus it will always be the wrong time to call my friends and-“ “Listen Lindsay we’re not discussing this anymore we’re going either you like or not so start packing your things I left you a box or two upstairs” .

I was 15 that time, having no choice I got to move, so after we got all out stuff ready and said goodbye to almost everyone we knew it was time to go. I remember being exhausted because the trip from England to Australia seemed like it lasted forever, it was so long. But then I got there I was positively surprised “ What a beautiful place” I loved it , our neighborhood was amazing too people here are awesome , and it was actually the place I met my best friend Calum he’s my neighbor and he has always been there for me since day one “ here let me help you with this” he said while grabbing my suitcase which was obviously too heavy for me “ thanks “ “ you’re very welcome I’m Calum i guess you’re new here” “ yeah we just moved from London , my name’s Lindsay by the way nice to meet you” “Glad to meet you Lindsay , I have to go now but I’ll see you around I guess “ “ yeah sure bye”.

Since then it began our amazing friendship of me and Cal it’s been two years now and my relationship with him is awesome we always help each other , and always make sure we’re okay it has always been like a brother/sister relationship Calum seemed to be fine with it and we never actually got into this subject but as much as I hide it and it hurts yes I like him , no I love him everything about him ,every small detail of his personality , from his cute sweet voice to the way he makes me laugh, from his beautiful eyes to his bright smile , from the way he plays the guitar to the way he works so hard with his bandmattes . But have I never had the courage to tell him or make a step ? I mean how could I? , I don’t want to lose him I can’t risk it there’s too much to ruin I prefer to have him as «my brother” than nothing at all , plus I don’t even think I’m his type of girl Calum has liked so many pretty girls and even went out with two of them while I was just sitting there pretending everything was okay , helping him pick outfits for their dates , handling all the pain of seeing how bright his eyes become when he’s with them  and the way he takes care of them and cuddle with them. Of course my self esteem lowed so much that my razor became my best friend  each time I had a break down , but guess what ? Yes I handled all this, I just can’t let him go , I can’t  spend a day without thinking of him in a good or a bad way , I can’t help it but smile like an idiot when I remember our conversations , And without even knowing I find myself daydreaming about him he’s just like a drug I’m addicted to. Sometimes depression hits me so hard that a voice in my head starts to shout” if you can’t put an end at this, put an end to your life” unfortunately Calum did notice that he saw my cuts and how my I wake up every morning with red eyes that obviously show how much I cry  at night and he absolutely hates it to see me like that he’s stopped me several time from cutting myself and always tried to help me as much as he could “ you’re so beautiful why do you do this to yourself” we faught a lot of times because he tried to understand the reason of this but I always changed the subject .

But how long is this gonna last ? how much am I gonna be able to do this ? I feel like the end is near like I’m a bomb that will explode and let everything out ….