My Sweet Devil - JENLISA

Chapter 13 : Confidence

LISA'S POV

I was now facing Jisoo who was waiting for me to spill the beans like when the accused was facing the judge for a crime he had committed. I had the impression that it was stifling because I was sweating, you'd think I was getting out of the pool. I could no longer deny, especially that Jisoo had understood that there was something wrong. I knew that at some point, someone would catch me. It was rare to see Jisoo so serious. Usually, it is the person who takes everything lightly and never gets carried away.

"So? What do you mean by the normal type of friend?" 

I think I have no choice but to speak. 

"What I mean by normal is like you and me. We are friends as I am with Rosé or Bobby. But with Ruby Jane, it's different."

"And what do you mean by different?" 

"Jisoos! I don't know how to explain it to you! It's complicated..." I abruptly got up from my desk and walked around in circles in the room. Jisoo kept watching me but she wouldn't give up, I could see it in her eyes that she was determined. I took a deep breath and took the time to think about how I could explain my relationship with Ruby Jane without having to go into details, "Ruby Jane and I sleep together." 

"Let all the chickens go to heaven." 

"I know! You can judge me or insult me as you want."

"Are you fucking serious Lisa? I mean, when I said I thought your wife was boring, it wasn't in the way that I was pushing you to cheat on her, but for fuck's sake. What the hell did you do?" it was now up to her to get up abruptly from her seat and walk around in circles around the room while I watched her reaction.

"I know it's stupid, immature and thoughtless of me, but it's more than that. I don't even know why I'm justifying myself when I know I'll still be wrong."

"Lisa, I don't think you understand in the situation you've put yourself in. Do I have to remind you that you're married and you have a fucking child?" 

"If you knew the reason, you'd understand me!"

"Then explain!" 

"I... I can't." 

"So don't count on me to understand you. You're completely sick of doing this! Did you think for a second how your wife and daughter would feel if they knew all this? I admit I wanted Ruby Jane to flirt with you because I wanted to see your reaction and then I liked that chick, but I didn't think it would go that far." she was standing in front of the large glass window where you could see the small private courtyard. This is the first time we've raised our voices on both sides. We've never faced this situation since we've known each other.

"I'm sorry..." 

"Sorry?" she huffed and faced me, "I don't think I'm the person you should apologize to. And may I ask how long has this little game been going on?"

"More than a week..." honestly, my voice was reduced to nothing. 

"I guess last night you fucked the chick pretty good by your both looks this morning."

"Stop Jisoo..." 

I'm suddenly feeling sick.

"What? The way I say it is too shocking for you?"

"Please Jisoo...I'm not asking you to understand me... I just need a moment and I need you such as a friend who stays by his friend's side in difficult times. It's not easy and I can't force you to believe me, but let me handle this, I need time to clear my mind, please?" I only needed someone to hear me and I didn't ask anyone to understand me because even I didn't understand the choice I had made.