hi what's up
basically i got really bad news recently and it kinda destroyed me bc i had my hopes up so high and then one person's decision changed my life for the next year
i've been crying about it a lot and some of my friends have just been telling me i'm awesome and amazing and that i deserved to get it but it doesn't help very much bc they can't change who was chosen and the only person who's opinion matters doesn't think i'm fit for the part
i really wanted to write an angry letter thing in my notes just to get it out (i would never send it) but then i watched some videos and stopped crying and now i just feel numb.
i'm still really upset and writing this is making me want to cry again but i'm trying not to bc i know i need to get over it and know that it is what it is and i can't change it.
maybe in an hour or so or in the morning or sometime soon i'll want to rant about it but i probably shouldn't even post it on here.
i just wish that the outcome was different bc there are so many reasons why i should have been chosen instead of the people who were chosen but i can't change it.
i really wanted to make a change and help people but i'm stuck exactly where i was last year.
writing this has made me really want to rant and write an angry letter. that's probably not a good thing so i should probably stop
bye
