Percy Jackson one shots

Adventures in Table Building

"I told you we should have just gotten the twenty dollar delivery and assembly," says Annabeth as Percy struggles to carry his side of the box through the door. "But no, Mr. Prophecy Boy thinks it's a good idea to haul an entire goddamned table up three flights of stairs." They make it mostly up the stairs without any problems - Percy gets his chain on his pants caught on the handrail and Annabeth has to do some fancy physics work to prop up the giant box and unhook him before they can make it up the final flight of stairs - and then they finally get it in the apartment.

"That was horrible," whines Percy, collapsing against the door frame. His usually well-mussed Mohawk is drooping into his eyes, and he pushes it back off his face. "Maybe you were right about the free delivery thing."

"Now you admit I'm right," grumbles Annabeth.

Annabeth spends the first few minutes of being home trying to find a box cutter in Sally Jackson's kitchen, but Percy gets so annoyed with waiting that he draws his sword and slices the box with Anaklusmos and deals with it when Annabeth grumbles about how he could have damaged the table.

"So where do we start with this?" asks Percy, kneeling beside Annabeth and opening the box. "Hera's handbags, that's a lot of parts."

Annabeth, too, is staring down at the box in horror. "Gods, it's one table and four chairs. Why the hell are there, like, six billion parts?"

Percy shakes his head looking nervous. "I knew the box was too small to be an easy assembly." He turns to Annabeth. "Think we could convince someone to put it together for us?"

"No," she replies, "we promised to get this table together, so that your mom'll come home tonight and see her brand new dining room set up without her having to do a damned thing. While we're speaking of that, have you seen those pictures of you as a baby in the bathtub around? I'm thinking an entire wall of that."

Percy snorts and shoves Annabeth's arm. "We are not putting that up."

"That might be an addition to her birthday present."

As Percy stares at her in horror, she gets to work on bringing out the pieces of the new dining room set.

"For fuck's sake!" Percy screams. He's hopping around on one foot, and Annabeth bites back a hysterical laugh as she realizes there's a brand new, not-so-intentional hole in the bottom of her boyfriend's already ripped jeans. "I can attack a freaking Titan but I can't put together a goddamned kitchen table? This is ridiculous!"

"Maybe you should consider not dropping the thing on your foot next time," she says from where she's hammering together a couple of chairs.

"Maybe you should consider shutting up," he grumbles, but Annabeth laughs.

"Now, now, Percy, don't get mad at me when it's really the inanimate object that's pissing you off."

He turns to her and glares. "You know, it's your fault you decided to do this for my mom's birthday. Why couldn't we have just baked her a cake?"

Annabeth flips through the manual to try and figure out which direction the leg is supposed to face. "Because we both know that the last time I tried to go anywhere near a stove your mother's favorite oven mitt caught on fire." Percy can see a smile from behind the manual. "And we all know how sad she was to find out that your third grade final art project got torched."

Percy chuckles. "You've got a point, there." He sighs and leans over the table, staring at her. "But I have to say, my gift is going to be so much better."

This finally gets Annabeth to look up from the manual. "I thought this was your gift," she says carefully. "Percy, what in Zeus' sweet corset did you do and how dead is your mom going to make you?"