Harley Quinn And The Joker

Don't You Puddin' Me

It's been merely a week since I took on the job for Batman but I already started - despite my expectations - to actually enjoy being the good guy. Well, during the nighttime, at least.

Not that I didn't like my slightly criminal tendencies, but even to a guy like me, a change is as good as a rest. Especially when you can beat the c out of people and get admired for it.

But, like all good chapters in life, this didn't last. Nightwing was save and sound back and Bruce allowed me - at least once - to go out at night all by myself. He trusted me on behaving and not starting a gang or, well, killing people. 'What a patsy.' He didn't even question me just nodding and not even really paying attention to his request on keeping my psych under control. Whatever he meant by that.

So here I was, standing in front of a bank at eleven pm with nothing but an aerosol can in my right hand and the blade of my single hunting knife between my teeth. I smiled as I shook the can and started to write on the giant glass window.

The conversation I've had with Joker about five days ago still stuck in my head. I even thought I started to like this guy. He had such a brilliant mind. And it's mainly because of his insanity that he got me in for his plan. He even knew I knew Batman's secret identity. But I had way too much respect for the Dark Knight to give his name away. And I also felt like this would spoil everything for Joker.

I was half way finished with a big red smiley face with dollar notes as eyes when I suddenly heard a familiar voice from a distance I couldn't clearly name. 'Harley?' I quickly wrote 'stay happy' under the face, then dropped the aerosol can in the next trash can and walked up a taller building using a fireladder.

Still having the knife between my teeth, I jumped from rooftop to rooftop until I reached a low building on the side of a broad shopping street. 'Should've used a view spray cans here.'

My eyes widened as I saw Harley walking around, a giant blue and red mallet in her hands. I almost dropped the knife as I felt my jaw opening at the way she smiled.

I haven't seen her in a month or so, at least not since Bruce took her to one of his places to take care of her until I'd find a solution for her paralysis. Which I, at least kind of, did.

'Should I go down there?' I thought as I just wanted to talk to her. It sounded stupid, even to myself but I actually missed the sound of her voice.

Just the second I decided to jump down, I saw from the spot I was sitting at that a big, dark person was standing on a rooftop a view blocks down the street - and he started to come closer towards Harley.

He almost reached her when I suddenly noticed another person calmly walking out of a side street, tossing something in their hand up and down. 'That a ball?' I narrowed my eyes but wasn't able to see a thing.

Only thing I noticed was Harley immediately froze at the sight of the...woman? Harley's body was shaking and she dropped the mallet. I guessed of fear but then her eyes widened and the second person arrived.

Suddenly, everyone noticed the other people.

"Puddin'?!"

"Harley?"

"Joker!"

"Batman!"

"Batman?"

"Harley?"

"Black Seven!" I yelled and jumped down from the rooftop, drawing everyone's attention - except for Harley's - to me.

"Sweet!" I rubbed my hands together and smiled while walking over to the small group. "Now that we're all tagetha, how 'bout a chat?" I asked and tilted my head to figure this situation out.

Batman looked at me for a moment, only to see who was landing on the street but immediately stared back at Joker in his usual about-to-kick-your-ass position.

Harley also stared at Joker, but her eyes were filled with tears as she softly smiled at her...puddin' and that made me roll my eyes.

Joker himself stepped closer so he stood under a streetlight that revealed the 'ball' in his hand to be a human head. 'You thought the Joker played with a ball.' I giggled at my own stupidity. 'Dumbass.'

"Puddin'! Y-You're alive!" Harley squeaked and ran towards him, totally ignoring the way his face looked. The way she stared at him made me smile. 'Ain't love sweet?'

I expected Joker to catch her in his arms - so the surprise, and, furthermore, the rage was even bigger as he waited for her to be about two feet away from him before he pulled up his right hand he held a gun in and slammed it against her face, throwing her aside and against the wall of a nearby building.

"Don't you puddin' me!" He growled, his words were barely understandable since he had no lips. I made an attempt to run towards him, wanting nothing more than to shove my knife down his throat for what he just did but Batman held me back.

Harley rubbed her cheek and started to sob a bit, the tears coming out of her eyes became an entirely different meaning but she quickly pulled herself together and stood up. "Sorry, Mistah J." She sounded as if it was completely normal for her to get slapped like that and just smiled at him.

"Let go ya fool!" I yelled at Batman as he tackled me to the ground after I tried another time to get my hands at Joker's throat. "I'm gon' kill ta bitch!"

"A little sassy for someone who was just taken out by a bat." Joker giggled and I glared at him. "Well, ain'tcha sassy for a guy wearin' high heels?" I noticed why I thought at first he was a woman when he stood in the shadows earlier.

Joker himself gave me a death glare. "Those are men shoes! They just have higher heels!" He obviously felt offended but who am I to judge a psycho like him?

"If ya say so." I managed to assure Batman by a simple look at him that I would behave and he got off me, immediately staring at Joker.

I was actually surprised Bruce was back as Batman. Maybe he retiring was just a phase, maybe he needed some time to pull himself together.

But none of that mattered to me right now. All I had eyes for was Joker and his stupid mug. The moment he hit Harley was playing over and over again in my head, making my hands form fists and releasing the spikes of my gloves. I kept glaring at him, imagining myself ripping off what's left from his facial skin.

"Black Seven, control yourself!" Batman noticed my look at the clown guy as well as my way of holding my hands. "Justice, not vengeance." He said and I made a face at this.

"Justice would be me hittin' 'im the same way he hit Harley." I turned my head back to Joker and suddenly had an idea on how to get my knife to cleave his head open. "Vengeance is me tearin' his heart out after breakin' both o' his legs with a bat."