Harley Quinn And The Joker

Bloody Crowbar

"This is humiliating. Why couldn't we stick to my plan?" Poison Ivy asked as she tried to get used to the warm clothes I robbed from some old woman. She had her Yveltal shirt, she'll be fine, it was only almost freezing out here.

"Will you please shut the fuck up?" The nagging of hers was unbearable for me as we walked closer to the building of Wayne Enterprises, a pretty tall skyscraper more or less in the middle of Gotham. "I'm trying to think, woman!" Bad enough I had to put on the clothes of one of Black Seven's henchmen. But the thing was, they just had no style, it actually saddened me...in a sarcastic way, of course.

Pamela sighed and looked around whilst trying not to rip her coat to shreds. "Will you please watch your language, Joker?" We saw a few of Blacky's goons approaching, they guided Batman towards the building and I pulled my hat down to hide my face because sadly, I was out of makeup. "I've heard more swear words in the past eleven minutes than during my seventeenth birthday."

"Just stay quiet and don't look at those guys, they'll notice your eyes." I whispered and Ivy checked on her black wig as we waited for the people to come closer. I was glad I found some clothes to cosplay a bit since I thought we'd seem less suspicious if we joined a group of Black's henchmen that may get us close enough to him...before I'll skin Black Seven alive!

'Or he might kill you first, remember the time he kicked your ass when he worked with Bats?' Great, my voice was back again. Not that I was psychotic, but sometimes, I just liked to imagine talking to the made up voice in my mind. It was a great way to pass time as well as taking my mind off things.

The men reached us, Batman looked kind of beaten up and had his mouth duct taped, at least he knew now what it felt like. But that wasn't my main concern right now, although I wished I had a camera to capture this very satisfying moment.

"Hey, who are you people?" There was the first criticism, but to prevent some illogical bullshit, I told Ivy that I'd be the one who'd talk. If I only had thought about a line or two before. Then again, I felt improvising had something dangerous, as if you didn't know what was inside the little box of words you were going to open up.

"Black Seven told me to get his sister, he wants to show her to meet The Bat. I'm just getting her up, makin' sure she's not gonna get killed, man." 'Well, that was smooth. Maybe I should add a little sass...Meh, let's not risk it.' My deep voice I didn't use often already made Pam give me a disturbed look, didn't want to answer questions about it, anyway.

The small guy shrug his shoulders without even looking at Ivy. "Whatever, I don't wanna outrage Black, he's pretty pissed already." All the other guys agreed and passed us with Batman who could barely walk with all the stab wounds on his legs and back which almost looked like a smiley face. 'Nice!'

His hands were still caught inside the ice and his cape was ripped to shreds while scratches all over his arms and face looked like he didn't have as much fun with my plan as I had. Well, can't please anyone. "How'd you catch Batman, by the way?" I just wanted to rub the fact in Batsy's face that he was nothing without me and needed me to get out of here alive.

"Heh, happy accident, Freeze froze his hands and feet to the ground and Joker ditched him, we just picked him up after Killer Croc and Firefly were done with his sorry butt. Joker certainly got more brains than this guy." A man with an eye losing chuckled and I leaned over to Batman who just stared down in frustration and exhaustion. "See?" I whispered in my normal voice and quiet enough for those goons not to hear a word. "I told ya so before but you said I was crazy."

Batman slowly turned his head over to me, his eyes almost had something like relieve in them as I lifted my hat for a moment so he could see my face. He narrowed his eyes at my last sentence though but immediately looked forward again in order not to get any of the eleven people surrounding him think I was putting on some suspicious behavior.

"You take the elevator, we don't want Black Seven rant about why his sister had to walk, see you all at the rooftop." The bigger guy said and pushed Batman forward with a taser against his spine. 'Almost pity him.'

But instead of wasting my time thinking about ways to help Batman, I just calmly pushed the button on the side of the elevator after we entered the first story of the tall building and waited for Pamela to walk over to me.

"You do realize that chances are fifty-fifty that Harley's actually with him up there, right?" She started nagging again and I had to pull myself together in order not to rip her tongue out. So I just sighed, dropped my head forward and grinned. "And you do realize that this doesn't matter to me, right?" I stared at her, still waiting for the elevator to arrive.

"No matter if she's up there with him or not, if I find out he laid a hand on her or, god forbade, killed her..." A wave of rage made me shiver and I angrily pushed the button again. "...I'll show him how I murder idiots, Leatherface-style."

The elevator finally arrived and Poison Ivy looked at me confused as we entered. "You trying to tell me you're carrying a chainsaw with you?!" My own surprise about her dumb-ass question was actually bigger than hers over my last sentence. I calmly looked at her while smiling: "Isley, no offense, but..." Now I aggressively moved my hands up and down in front of my body while glaring at her with giant eyes. "Where in the motherfucking hell could I hide a fucking chainsaw here?! This is goddamn skintight suit, do you read me?!"

Pamela shrieked and jumped back as I screamed at her with my face actually feeling like it was burning and my lungs almost exploding in pure rage. "Are you retarded or something??" I tilted my head and pulled out a gun from my holster before I pointed it at her head. "Maybe I should blow off your head, you're fucking worse than Hillary Clinton!"

My finger was already on the trigger but Pamela quickly grabbed my wrist and punched me in the face, causing me to drop the gun and stumble back. I usually wouldn't actually take a punch that bad but right now it felt like it was getting me back to my senses. 'Maybe you should seek a shrink, lunatic.'

"Joker, I know you are angry, but you point a gun at me one more time and I'll break your arm!" Poison Ivy stared at me and I rubbed my forehead with a grin but I just didn't want to look at her. "Given my..." I looked for a way to put this and picked the gun up before I put it back into my holster. "...moody state, I should thank you for that." My grin grew and I moved my finger around the spot where she punched me.

Pamela rolled her eyes and scoffed at my statement but opened her mouth to say something, yet I covered her mouth with my palm because she obviously didn't notice that the elevator had stopped. "Not a word." I quickly said and received just a death glare as an answer before the door opened and we got out, just moments before Black Seven's henchmen arrived with Batman.

My eyes looked around, searching for that idiot and quickly found him standing on the edge of the rooftop, his right hand held a crowbar and he stared across the burning buildings all over Gotham, even from this distance I could see Firefly and Mr. Bloom destroying one police station and hospital after another. 'So much destruction.' I sadly shook my head and pulled Poison Ivy back behind the henchmen so Black Seven wouldn't notice us that quick. 'And I didn't have to do a single damn thing with it.'

It was weird that Black Seven still used the crowbar I gave him some time ago, it was just because I loved to use it in front of Batman and his little brats. The crowbar reminded him of what I did to Jason and I liked pushing Bats closer to the edge of self control. Yet, I thought Black Seven had already dropped his fondness of this weapon but he seemed to like it as much as I did. 'Like father, like son. I guess.'

One henchman said something to Black Seven but I zoned out because I noticed some blood on the crowbar, but from that distance between me and him I couldn't tell if it was old or fresh. Black Seven tended to not clean his weapons and I hoped for his sake that this wasn't Harley's blood. Although, no matter what he may have done to Harley, I got really tired of his shit.