Epiphany || ksj || ✓

twenty-five

✵

'Jimin,' I managed to finally speak as I stared at him. The air around us was tight and thick, almost suffocating that it made it too hard to breathe.
   'Jin,' He said again, moving down a step, standing next to Yoongi now. He looked different since the last time I had seen him. His then pitch black hair was now bleached a cotton candy pink shade, his body was now corded with muscle and tattoos that had once been milky skin, soft and supple.
     The only thing the same about him was his eyes; bright and hopeful.
      Jimin's lips tugged up into a smile, slowly breaking out into a grin.
     'You came back?' He breathed out, his grin widening, eyes disappearing behind his full cheeks.
     This was not the reaction I had been expecting. I had expected him to be hurt, hateful, vengeful. I thought he was going to send me back, tell me that he never wanted to see me again.
    Instead he pushed passed Yoongi, almost running towards me as he wrapped his arms around my body.
     I felt the heavy feeling in me slowly drift away, my breathing became lighter as I embraced him, too.
     'I'm sorry,' I finally spoke, blinking away tears. 'That it took me so long to see you.'
      He nodded once, sending me a smile. 'Yoongi told me everything. I understand.'
    It was now that I could see the ugly scar that had been left behind from the accident. A slash of white over his collarbone that peeked out from underneath his black sweater.
     He noticed my eyes drift to his scar and he grinned. 'I don't mind it,' he put a hand over it, as if to protect it. 'It makes me a survivor, it's apart of me now. I'm very happy that I have it with me. Besides,' he added, chuckling, 'it makes me look cooler.'
      'Jimin, I'm so sorry,' I averted my eyes, not wanting to be reminded. 'It's been so long and I-'
     'It's okay,' spoke Jimin, putting a small hand, littered with tattoos, on my shoulder. 'Come on, we'll talk inside.'

✵

'Yoongi told me everything,' Jimin began to speak, setting down two cups of coffee in front of Taehyung and I. 'Which is why I didnt lash out when I saw you.'
That explained it.
'At first,' he sat down, hands on his knees. 'I was hopeful. I wanted to see you again. When I woke up, the first words that came out of my lips were "where's Jin?", and then to hear that you had disappeared almost immediately,' he shook his head, eyes looking sad. 'At first I was mad, someone who was like an older brother to me hadn't visited me in hospital. I couldn't blame you though, I know what you're like. I knew that you would have been kicking yourself for what had happened. But then when a week had past, a month, a year, I just grew madder.' He clenched his jaw, as if talking about it had sparked his anger again. 'I waited, hoping that you'd see me. But you didn't. Then a year and a half later, you texted me, wishing me a happy birthday, since then I had hope,' he stared at me with glassy brown eyes. 'That you wouldn't hate me.'
'Jimin,' I breathed out, swallowing back the tears that stung my eyes. 'I could never hate you.'
Jimin nodded, wiping a tear that had fallen.
     'It was my fault,' I continued, staring at his tear stained face. 'I was the one who drove.'
     'I was the one who made you drive with me!' He almost yelled, the pain showing clear on his face.
    'I know what you're like Seokjin,' he huffed out, raking both his hands through the cotton candy coloured hair on his head. 'I knew that you would blame yourself all these years and you can't sit there and tell me that there hasn't been a day where you looked in the mirror and felt like everything was okay.
    He pointed himself. 'I know.' Then to Yoongi. 'He knows.' He pointed to Taehyung. 'V knows.'
     Taehyung coughed. 'I thought we agreed that it's Taehyung now?'
     Yoongi short him a glare that said now is not the time to which Taehyung mumbled his apologies.
     He then pointed to me. 'Even you know. So, that's why I gave up. I didn't want to be angry anymore. I couldn't be angry. Not when I knew what you would put yourself through.'
    'How many sleepless nights have you had? How many late night outs, drinking? Cigarettes? Clubbing? You dropped out of college, too, only after a year of entering, working at some beat up bowling alley. How much longer are you going to let the past ruin you?' He stared at me, looking right into my soul. I have never felt more vulnerable.
    'How much longer are you going to do this to yourself?'

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