Standing By (Avi Kaplan fan fic)

Eleven

Stuck is how I felt as I looked ahead. Not wishing to continue this talk. Yes. I had to tell him eventually. But I didn't want to tell him now. Not after such a good day. Not what happened to me. It's not something I like talking about. Not that I've ever talked about it before. I took a deep breath and began.

"My life had always been full of chaos. My father over dosing when I turned twelve." I close my eyes and suck I a breath knowing that that's not how my father died. But I continued. Feeling as if I had poisoned him with a lie. "It wasn't the worst line in my life. He was also abusive. But only when he was drunk. The days that he chose to be sober were the best in our lies. He was the kindest man you would meat." I smiled at the old memories of my father. A troubled man with also an unruly past. I sniffed slightly and continued. "After his passing I grew depressed. My mother grew slightly distant from me. We still loved each other very much. But we never said it. Only passing each other in the gals and wanting to turn around and grab one another. Whispering it until the end of time. As the years dragged on I grew older and falling into my own dark whole of anguish. My sister Shelby as well. Her being more depressed than me at the time. Bullying took over her life. Me being only 14 at the time, I could only do so little to comfort a 16 year old who knew so much of the world that only knew little of." I sucked in a deep breath. For this part in my life had to be the worst of all. "I found her in our room. Hanging from the ceiling fan. I couldn't even cry. My heart rose to my throat as felt it clog with my emotion. The wind leaving my body. I looked to we blue face and then back to the set sun, who barley peaked over the horizon. I stood on the stool she ones stood and removed her body and held her. I held her and I told her how much I loved her." I felt Avi's body tighten around me as I small drop of water hit my cheek. Looking up I saw Avi's own tears falling. His eyes clutched shut as he rested his face in my head and rocked me back and forth. "After that years past. I was just out of college when I met John. He seamed to be the nicest man on earth. That steadily changed after a year into our relationship he began to steadily grow aggressive. I remember the first time he hit me. After a movie night out. I don't remember what I had done wrong. He had slapped me with all his force. It parodied me with complete fear. Soon he had imprisoned me at the house. No phone. And of course it's not like I could do anything. The last time I saw my mother we had gotten into a nasty fight. I don't even know if she loves me anymore." Avi had now wrapped himself entirely around me.

"Then I met you. And a whole new story began."