Standing By (Avi Kaplan fan fic)

Fourty

I shouldn't have turned around.

If I hadn't then I wouldn't be staring into his green eyes. His green eyes that used to shine so bright, but now. Now they are dull. All life drained as he saw me standing under a lamp post. That lamp post sending looming shadows over my form. Should I run? If I did he is bound to catch up with me. But I didn't want him to find me. Find me leaving. I didn't. Not like this. Maybe one day, when, no if John is out of my life. I might go back to find him. Might go back to relish the last memories we had. Raise a glass.

"Charlie, what are you doing?"

Are the first things he said to me. I simply stared. My gaze showing no emotion at all beside the silent tears that slid down my face. Avi stepped forward. I stepped back.

He reached a shaky hand out, "please. Please Charlie come here." He asks. His voice shaky, not able to contain his emotions. "Please Charlie." My lips cracked as a small cry exited them. "No Avi. I can't." "Yes you can!" Avi suddenly cries. Tears escaping his eyes and falling from his cheeks and splashing a giant the already wet pavement. I clinched my eyes shut and gripped the strap of the bag I had over my shoulder. "Avi please. Just let me leave." Avi stared at me for a moment. His eyes drained and face pale. As if I had just ripped his heart from his aching chest.

"No Charlie." He stutters. His voice laced with complete fear and sadness it almost made me choke. "Avi, your not safe. There not safe-" Avi cuts me off with a startling cry, "we know were not safe!" He yells, yanking his arm to the door if the hotel that held the rest of the crew. "But it's a risk we are willing to take." He says, voice quiet now. But the tears now slipped freely from his eyes as his lip shook.

"Please Charlie. Please Charlie stay." He cries. Sobs wracking his body. His gave twisted with grief as the tears fell from his cheeks. "Charlie. Please." He whispers as he drops to his knees. I winced as I heard the scrape of his skin against the pavement. The emotion he had pulled over me like a vail, now spilled over. My own cries ripping into the air, hitting the ears of any people awake at this ungodly hour. My tears spilling over my cheeks and hitting my shirt. But I can't. I can't stay. I began to pivot on my heal slowly. But the scuffle of fabric and shoes hit my ears and a body collided with mine.

Avi held me. His arms wrapped around my form as to not let my unbalanced body fall. "I love you Charlie." The words hit me like a train. "I've loved you for so long." He cries. His own cries racking over the dark sky as the first raindrops fell. The down pore soaking my body. "So long." He whispers. I tried pulling away as my lip quivered an my tears escaped again. "Avi please!" I yell in a shaky cry. I begin to beat on his chest. But the man that claims to love me refused to move.

If he didn't want to let go I will make him.

"I don't love you Avi!" I scream. "I hate you!"

I scream as the tears and lies slipped from my body. Making my body want to kill over because I said that to Avi.

"I hate you." I cry as the beating of his chest begins to fade and fall into nothing but me crying against his chest. "No you don't." He cries with me.

"I know."