Fearless

Chapter 18- You And I Walk A Fragile Line

March 16th

Taylor

It's been about a day and a half since we got back from Texas. We got back on Saturday afternoon and it's Monday morning now, so we have to go into this meeting with Paula in a couple of hours and the thought makes me feel sick. Our night was totally ruined after that phone call so we ended up going back to the hotel and curling up in bed which mainly led to Karlie comforting me as I cried.

It's super early in the morning, probably around 5am, but I don't know for sure. Karlie's long arms are holding me against her body in a warm embrace as she sleeps and I can feel her soft breath against my skin but the anxiety coursing through my body just won't let me sleep. Every time I try to sleep I close my eyes and the memories of Emily and Paula ripping our relationship apart come flooding back to me and the pain hits me in a new way every time and then I can't breathe at the thought of this happening again with Karlie.

The sun starts rising in the sky which means the light is starting to spill into the bedroom. Karlie is still fast asleep and she's quite a heavy sleeper so I easily slip out of her grasp and quietly grab my phone and leave the room. I peek into Violet's room and smile when I spot my baby standing up in her crib, the brightest smile on her face as she looks up to me in the dimly lit room. "Good morning, precious girl," I laugh as I walk into the room, this is the first time I've actually caught her standing, "you're such a smarty pants, Vi."

I lift her out of the crib and into my arms and she babbles as she clings onto my shirt, she's getting so big and every day she makes new strides and I'm so proud to be her mom, she's my very best creation. I change her diaper and Violet smiles up at me as she grabs at my curls and I laugh as I shake my head but my attempts to make her let go just makes her giggle instead. "You're a monkey," I laugh as I pull her pants back up and when I'm done I lift her back into my arms and Vi finally lets go of my curls as I sit down in the rocking chair with her.

"Are you hungry, princess?" She doesn't really breastfeed as often now that she's eating food and I started weaning her since touring and breastfeeding every three hours or just whenever Violet decides isn't practical, so she mainly breastfeeds in the morning and at bedtime. "How can you be so absolutely perfect in every way?" I sigh as I rub her back, holding her tight against me as she starts to eat, her big blue eyes staring up at me, "because her mommy is absolutely perfect in every way."

I look up from the baby as I hear Karlie's voice and she has a goofy smile on her face as she stands in the doorway. "You abandoned me," She laughs as she comes in, perching on the ottoman in front of me, "sorry, I couldn't sleep," I smile sadly and she sighs, her hand resting on my thigh, "you're nervous?" I nod, smiling sadly as I press a kiss to Violet's head, "I've been in this situation before, Karlie, and I ended up heartbroken last time. I don't wanna risk losing you and going back to that broken and horrible version of myself."

Karlie shakes her head as she takes my hand, "I know you're scared, Teff, but the only person who can remove me from your life is you and unless you sincerely want me to go then I'm not going anywhere. I love you and I love this little lady too much to walk away without a good reason," Karlie laughs as she looks up into my eyes and I smile sadly, "I love you so much more than you know, Karlie, you make my life so much lighter and I really don't wanna lose you," I shake my head and Karlie gets up and perches on the arm of the chair as she wraps her arms around my shoulders, "you're the love of my life, Tay."

Karlie

"Come here, princess," I smile at Violet as I lift her out of her car seat and Taylor anxiously stands by my side as I clip the baby into her stroller. She's so nervous about this meeting and I can't blame her for that, so much of her reputation is at stake here and her publicist has broken up her relationships in the past so who knows if she's going to try and do it again now.