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有罪 (guilt)

Chapter 16 - 有罪 (guilt)

"I'm so sorry," Jahina bowed to the coaches and I overheard her apology, "Just as I was able to help, I broke my arm and can't anymore."

"Don't worry, there are other things a manger can do. Besides you said you're ambidextrous, right?" Coach Irihita assured as Jahina nodded meekly, "So you can still take notes in practice, okay?"

"I can still spike and set up tosses, and filling water bottles shouldn't be too difficult-"

"No need to force yourself." Coach Nobuzuko interrupted Jahina with a tone of finality, a big frown stretching on her lips, looking like she was about to burst into tears, "If you want a full recovery you must take the time to look after yourself and allow it to heal."

"Yes sir."

~

"Why the long face?" Whenever Jahina wasn't focusing on something, she would immediately space out and just seemed so upset, which is highly unusual for the chipper girl I have come to know.

Shoulders sagging even more if that was possible, she sighed, "I'm just so useless. I'm sure there are much more capable managers for your team."

Ah, it was that again.

"I'm sure there are, but the fact of the matter is that you are our manager and we won't replace you until you leave, unless you feel unhappy as manager then I'm sure the coaches will understand."

"That's not it!" Jahina exclaimed, eyes blown wide, "That's not it at all! I just feel that your team is so productive and dynamic, and I'm just stagnant, and I'm afraid to hinder your team..."

It's not that I didn't believe her, but I believed there was more to it that Jahina wouldn't say.

"It's our team Hoshi-chan! You're a part of it too you know!" Oikawa suddenly interjected, so casually squeezing between the two of us, "You don't want to be our manager Hoshi-chan? Do you not like being in the volleyball club?" Oikawa asked with his stupid puppy dog eyes, which -of course- Jahina fell prey to.

"No, I do love it- I love being a part of the volleyball team! I feel very blessed being offered a place as your manager!" Her eyes seemed to mimic those of Oikawa, only for real, real guilt and sympathy for the poor girl pulling on my heart. Even Oikawa was momentarily taken aback by her desperation. There was something wrong about the pity I felt for her over pride for the team.

"I'm glad!" Oikawa grinned softly, also sensing something was up but acting like he didn't notice.

"If you really want to leave Hoshino-san, don't feel obliged to stay just because Kusoikawa* is pouting." I reassured. Even if I didn't want her to leave, doesn't mean I have any right to stop her from what she wants.

"I'm not pouting!"

I sent a glare to said pouting male, who pouted even more but shut up nonetheless.

"Thank you Iwa-chan, Oikawa-san, I don't plan on leaving, I'm content where I am, I would just like to be of more help to the team if I can." Jahina's smile seemed tight, pained, and was short lived before she went back to spacing out again as we walked in silence for a moment. Oikawa and I shared a look.

"Hoshi-chan, you're spacing out again~!" Oikawa hummed loudly, Jahina blinking in surprise, almost startled by him.

"Oh right, sorry... I guess I can be quite ditzy..." She chuckled quietly, the last part seeming to be aimed to herself. "How far did I space out?"

"How far?" I repeated, maybe I didn't hear her correctly?

"Yeah! On a scale of the moon to Pluto, how far did I space out?"

Oikawa and I both thought quietly for a second.

"Neptune." We both answered.

"That far?!" She gasped incredulously.

We both nodded.

"But did you see anything cool? Aliens maybe?"

Suddenly Jahina leapt forward and grabbed onto Oikawa's hands with sparkling eyes.

"Do you think there's something out there too?!" Not Jahina too... Why am I not surprised?

Oikawa nodded intensely, "Of course! We're not the only ones in the universe!"

The two shared a moment of kinship, all sorts of nerd psychobabble being exchanged at lightning speed. I let myself relax with a smile. At least she seemed happy around us, it wasn't that she didn't like us.

"But you know, Iwa-chan-" I couldn't catch the rest of Oikawa's whispers but he was watching me with narrowed eyes that pissed me off.

"No way!" Jahina gasped, throwing me a look of betrayal.

"Yes way! And you know what else?" Jahina's expression morphed to that of horror as Oikawa whispered in her ear. He seemed proud of himself as Jahina's jaw dropped once he finished.

"Oi, Trashykawa..." I growled, cracking my knuckles as I raised a fist up, "What was that you said?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" He leered smugly as both Jahina and Oikawa watched me with a goofy knowing look. Jahina was too cute. Oikawa pissed me off knowingly. "Ow! Why'd you only hit me?!"