I Don't Wanna Do This Anymore

29

a/n: this chapter is about to be a whole mess.

DON'T GET MAD AT ME! I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO WRITE ABOUT!

WARNING: THIS CHAPTER WILL CONSIST OF SUICIDE. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

shakira's p.o.v

i feel so fucking numb right now.

i'm used to the pain.

jahseh started waking up. we were in the car right now driving home.

"he's waking up!" kimetrius exclaimed.

jahseh woke up and everyone went crazy.

"shakira, i'm so sorry." jahseh said.

"it's okay." i said, with a blank expression.

i don't want to feel anything anymore.

this is all geneva's fault.

i don't even know if i trust jahseh anymore.

we were all dropped off at our houses.

i went in the bathroom to take a shower and then i cried because of how much the water hurt my body.

why am i even alive?

since nobody else was home right now, i decided to do what i normally used to do before i met jahseh.

i grabbed my journal and started writing down all my thoughts, feelings, and what happened in my life.

it's been a while since i've wrote in this.

i thought i didn't need it anymore.

i guess i was wrong.

i met the love of my life.

but some hoe ruined it.

apparently jahseh got her pregnant.

i don't know what to do.

i gave all my love to someone, just to get hurt again.

i don't know what to do anymore.

i want to feel nothing because i've been feeling a lot nowadays.

i want to become numb.

i want to die.

i don't want to breathe anymore.

i don't want to smile.

i don't want to laugh.

i don't want to cry.

i just want to die.

my pills aren't working.

i don't want to see my therapist anymore.