Shattered

Si Mara at Colin

HABANG patungo sa ospital ay tsine-check ni Mara ang sarili kung may bakas siya ng kahalayan na nangyari kagabi.

She couldn't help but giggle as she remembered last night. It was magnificent. It was almost like a pornographic movie. The guy and Fortitude was perfect.

A lot of people would probably say she's disgusting, and that was the reason why she was living a double life. Alam niyang hindi tanggap ng lipunan ang lifestyle niya. Isinusuka ng Pilipinas ang babaeng sexually active.

Hindi ba may nagsabi na ang multiple sex partners, parang chest hair? Kapag sa lalaki, sexy. Pag sa babae, revolting. She thought that was stupid. A woman should be allowed to be sexually active too, without it being seen as degrading.

Isa pang hindi niya tanggap, the term nyphomaniac. Siguro nga ay ganoon siya, pero bakit kailangang may pangalan ang babaeng mahilig sa sex? Bakit kapag lalaki, walang term? It was so sexist.

Tingin ni Mara ay normal lang ang fascination niya sa sex. And no, she was not sexually abused when she was a child. She had a pretty normal childhood. She was raised by religious parents and they do not believe on hitting her. Malambing ang mga magulang niya at mababait.

So if she would be asked if the reason why she liked sex so much was because her mother never hugged her, she would answer fuck the hell off, I just happened to love sex.

Malapit na si Mara sa ospital. Kinuha niya ang salamin niya na nasa bag at isinuot iyon. Last night, she wore contacts. She could remember the face of the guy she was with last night, how he looked handsome when he was in the brink of orgasm.

It was magnificent.

Narating na ng UV Express ang tapat ng ospital. Bumaba siya at naglakad na nakayuko, parang isang babaeng walang self-esteem. Burado na ang makapal niyang make-up, ang suot niya ay baduy ng damit. Gone were the traces of that sultry woman she was last night.

Mara was indeed living a double life and now she was living the life she hated.

NAKITA ni Mara sina Odessa at Colin sa chapel ng ospital. Pumuwesto siya sa upuan sa likod ng mga ito. Pinanood niya kung paano magdasal ang mga ito. She just kept silent.

Nang matapos magdasal ito ay in-acknowledge ni Odessa ang presensiya niya. Lumingon ito sa kanya at matamlay na ngumiti. "It's been hard for him."

And Mara couldn't think of anything but Colin being "hard."

Ngumiti si Mara, inayos ang nakakairitang salamin. "I can't even imagine."

Hindi kumikibo si Colin, nakatingala lang ito sa imahen ni Hesus sa itaas ng chapel.

"Paano kung iwan na niya 'ko?" tanong ni Colin, paos ang tinig. "Kagabi, panay na ang bilin niya, eh. Paano kung iwan na niya ako?"

"Sssh," Odessa said. Hinawakan nito ang kamay ni Colin. "'Wag mong isipin 'yan."

"Imposible namang hindi ko maisip," sabi ni Colin, napailing.

"Lagi akong nandito para sa 'yo."

Tila natuwa naman si Colin nang marinig iyon. Bumaling ito kay Odessa. At sa hopeful na tinig, sinabi nito, "Talaga?"

Odessa nodded. "Talaga," she said. "Hindi kita iiwan."

Ngumiti si Colin. Hindi ihiniwalay ang titig sa mga mata ni Odessa bago nito sabihing, "Mahal kita." Sinabi nito na puno ng emosyon ang tinig nito, na para bang pansamantala nitong nakalimutan na mawawala na ang nanay nito, sandaling nalamangan ng pagmamahal ang takot at lungkot sa puso nito. Sinabi nito iyon na para bang wala siya doon.