Broken

Broken- Chapter eighty two

I stood in front of Sean's door and let a breath of air out before I summed up the courage to knock. Why was I so nervous?

I heard rustling behind the door before the door opened. I was supporting myself on a wall and when I saw him and smiled as genuine as I could. It was just so awkward. Well I thought it was. He didn't say anything but all he did was call the door in my face. My jaw fell and I let out a little gasp. I was not expecting that to happen. I felt the tears prickle at my eyes and I just let myself fall. I didn't scream or grunt in pain but I just cried. I deserve this. I'm a horrible person. I hate myself so much.

I propped myself up against the door and put my head in my knees. I cried and cried until it felt like I had no more tears.

"I'm sorry," was the only thing I could muster up to say. I just didn't feel like talking. I thought he'd hold me in his arms and kiss me but I guess I messed up really badly this time. I felt tears fill up on my eyes at the thought of loosing him too.

I felt the door open behind me and I established my balance. He came out the room a while after and I don't know if I imagined it but he rolled his eyes at me. He clenched his jaw and walked right past me. I feel like such a bitch. Like I'm a horrible person. I feel so weak right now. I hate feeling weak. And I hate to cry. But yet here I am.

He came back with a bottle of milk and my heart clenched a bit. He slammed the door in my back and I just sat there. Not like I could move. I saw Connor coming towards me and bent down to pick me up.

"Didn't work huh? I'm sorry."

This was my own fault but I didn't say that. I just stayed quiet. He carried me to my room and lied me on the bed. I hadn't been here in a while. It was late but he climbed into bed with me and covered us both. I turned to face him and I thanked him.

"Thank you," I smiled.

I don't know what happened but all I knew was that his lips were on mine. But just for a brief second. He pulled away right after and jumped off the bed.

"I'm so sorry Jess- I mean Faith I uh. Sorry I should go. We have an early morning tomorrow. Goodnight."

I've never seen Connor serious in my life before. But that just now was the most serious I've ever seen him. I touched my lips and sighed. Maybe it was just a mistake. A heat in the moment kind of thing. I can't tell Sean though. He'd kill him. But why would he even care? I sighed and reached over to turn the lamp off before drifting into sleep.

The next morning I was feeling much better. My alarm woke me up at three in the morning and my stomach actually felt a lot better. I put my feet on the cold, wooden floor and I stood up. What a major déjà vu.

I walked to the shower and showered myself, shampooed my hair and brushed my teeth. Some blood flowed down the drain but not much. I brushed my hair out and decided to wear a plan black hoodie and a black leather pants. I opened my draw to get the hoodie and I saw the last thing I had of Andrew. His shirt.

I scoffed and took the hoodie and got dressed before slowly heading downstairs. Connor avoiding eye contact with me but asked, "You ready?"

I had a gun plus my dagger so I grabbed a banana and nodded my head. He went outside towards the car and I followed him in. He knew exactly where we were going. My old home town. I'd done some research on her and found out she was arrested twice for drug abuse and now she works at some clothing store. But better yet, I got her address.

We didn't talk in the car at all, the music drowning out the silence. It was kind of irritating so I spoke.

"It's okay you know."

He nodded, "I'm sorry. I don't know why I did that. You're with Sean and I know you would never-"

"I said it's okay," I chuckled, "we don't have to talk about it ever again."

"Yeah," he said.

I played the the zipper on my hoodie. I couldn't stop thinking about how Sean had treated me. But I hurt him. Bad. I felt terrible. And I couldn't even fix he. He won't even talk to me.

I didn't even realize we'd arrive at the address.

"We're here."

I smirked a bit, "let's kill this mother fucker."