Fragile (Jack Gilinsky)

Fragile- Part 7

Pretty hurts.

My momma always told me I needed to fix things about me to be perfect, (Just saying Lexi looks like you, because she's beautiful, and so are you, believe me)

This just proves to me that it's true, both Jack and Madison said so. what's the point I was happy how I was and I was stupid enough to like Jack, I guess we all make mistakes.

My phone beeped.

From: Gilly☺️❤️

Look Lexi I am truly sorry, I never want you to change, you were absolutely perfect the way you were before and I loved that about you. You are perfect, and believe me because when I first saw you I wanted you, but I knew I couldn't have you. You were to perfect to be mine. So I texted you this paragraph letting you know how amazing and perfect I think you are, and that I really like you but I blew it.

To: Gilly☺️❤️

My momma said I'm not a pretty girl, and that what's in my head doesn't matter that I need to brush my hair and fix my teeth, loose weight, get tanner. I was always in beauty pageants, people telling me all these things I need to change about myself, I believed them that these things about myself needed to be changed. I'm not perfect and I'm not okay, I've been damaged since 5 years old I'm 17. I was 15 before I realized that all these things people said should affect me. My momma said that if I did beauty pageants I could Bmx, and I loved it, it was something I could never give up, everybody said I was amazing at it, but I never believed them cause since I was 5 I never believed anybody that I was perfect because I was always told I needed to be changed to be perfect. I was a Barbie doll. My momma told me that since I was 2 she knew I would never be a normal girl that's why she did what she did. I'm scared. Let me tell you one thing, pretty hurts, and I know that, and that's why I am who I am, because I know how it feels to never feel good enough. I've never been perfect to my momma. Since my momma told me we didn't have enough money for me to do both she made me choose, well of course I chose Bmx, she was heart broken and didn't talk to me for months. I'm letting you know that since that time in my life, that is why I cannot wear high heels and dresses and skirts and flat. I can't be a girl. Because being a girly girl broke me. I liked you too, until Madison and the things you said to me.

And I hit send.

Heart broken he now knows my past.

Nobody knew that. I went through years and years of depression. I can't let him now I'm broken. This is why I never break down because I need to be strong my mom still hates me.

My phone beeped again.

From: Tay Bae👫🐊

Hey Lexi I know about it. but me and Jack are the only ones. Because I'm your best friend. Lexi you mean a lot to me and the boys we can't see you like this. Why didn't you come to me? Please Lexi don't put yourself through this.

To: Tay Bae👫🐊

Thanks Tay but it's to late you can't fix something you don't see.

I hit send.

It's true he's trying to fix me but I won't let him come into my life it's hard to do that.

My phone beeped again.

From: Matt is a Dino😎❤️🐈

Lexi I love you.

WHAT THE HELL.. I THOUGHT ONLY JACK AND TAYLOR KNEW!

My phone beeped again.

From: Shawn Lawn💎😂😍

Lexi I love you.

Seriously I'm gonna scream.

My phone beeped again.

And that's when I shut it off. I lost it. I balled my eyes out. I've never cut before. And I won't start now. I could never. But the idea kept ringing in my head.

I decided to forget it all, the boys would find out one way or another. And I fell asleep.

I woke up with feeling crammed.

I look around me and sure enough there I see, Taylor, Jack, Aaron, Shawn, Matt, JJ, Cam, Nash, Hayes, Dillon, Sam, and carter all laying in my bed.

Matts P.O.V

I hear Lexi start to wake up, so I wake up too and attack her in a huge bear hug, then everyone starts to wake up and we all group hug.

"Lexi, we all love you and can't bear to hear that it happened to you. you are perfect to every single one of us and I'm not just saying that. You are truly amazing. Please believe me." I say to her.

"Thanks Matt, thanks all of you. But I'm scared. I love all of you but I've been like this since I was 5. But thanks" I say back.

"Let's go get breakfast?" Sam asks us all.

"Sure" we all say.

They all leave my room and I get changed. Into jean capris, and a t-shirt that says you can't fix broken. And I throw on some black converse and put my hair in a messy bun.

And head out to breakfast with the boys.

We see Madison...