Not Weak, Just Stronger

Chapter 3: I've Dug Two Graves For Us, My Dear

"If I could act on my revenge, oh would I? Some kill, some steal, some break your heart and you thought that I would let it go and let you walk."

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Dinah scrolled mindlessly through the Seeking Arrangement app for what had to be the 50th time that day, and it was only 11am. Clicking on different profiles, reading through the 'about me' and what they're looking for, liking their account or moving on in disgust because she could tell they were going to waste her time. She laid back on the bunk bed she shared with her half sibling, alone in the room for the first time in days—everyone living in that household went out to the park—and quite thankful that she could finally have some quiet. It didn't come around often. She was tired of salty people adding her to their favourites, and talking to many different men only to have them piss her off because they weren't what she was looking for. Especially the messages to request her private photos without even saying hello first or having a polite conversation. Fed up, now it just went a little something like this:

Man: request to view private photos

Dinah: Request to view your bank account.

Man: Hi, can I please see your private photos?

Dinah: Hi, can I please see your manners?

Dinah has met at least three men who took her on a first date, but only stood by two of them. One of them was a young nurse by the name of Joseph, the other was a 44-year old man who worked in construction but would rather be a scientist instead. Joseph wasn't good for giving allowance, he was only good for giving public transportation money and buying Dinah the food she and her family often went weeks without; they lived from paycheck to paycheck and that paycheck only came twice a month. The construction guy, Dino, would give her 200 dollars just for hanging around with him while he worked in his office. But she needed more, so he offered 400 if she'd sleep with him.

Dinah was desperate and needed to make more than what her shitty job in retail was paying her. She needed thousands but had to settle for hundreds she can save in order to survive in poverty. And if that meant sleeping with men or meeting them for dates, she'd do it. Her aunt sat her down one day to vent and expressed her frustrations of barely getting by, the rent being way too high, how not enough money was coming in to feed a household of eight, and that they were just going to have to work more than one job—something Dinah couldn't do because she couldn't handle it. Getting out of bed to go to lectures was hard enough, working two jobs on top of that was even harder. Nobody recommended it to her, she was the one who thought of ways to get money and chose to use men to do it. Seeking Arrangement was her second job now and it was just as degrading as any other job she previously worked.

Dinah didn't wanna do it, but she had to. She needed to provide for herself and her family. Money was money, the hard work that earned it shouldn't matter to anyone...should it? So she met him in his office, he gave her something to drink, then left the room to set up the pull out bed in the living space. It wasn't an ordinary office with many others in one single building, it was an apartment converted into one in downtown Oakland by the 12th street train station. After he set up the bed, she got undressed and climbed on top of his large naked body, feeling the hairs on his pasty white skin that he didn't shave for months. She kept the only reason she was doing this at the front of her mind and put on a show, hoping that he was the type to cum fast and it'd all be over before she knew it. She hated every second of it but convinced him that she loved it. He felt loved for exactly fifteen minutes before he finally finished and let her rush to the bathroom to pee.