As soon as the movie ended, Ashton moved straight into the front seat. It was obviously an attempt at getting away from me, and I ended up in the back beside Michael, with Luke driving. I rested my head against the window. “So, Brooke, do you play an instrument?” Calum asked in an attempt to lessen the awkward. “No, I dance,” I replied, as if that answered the question he asked. The conversation ended there.
At some point during the ride home, Ashton leaned over and whispered something to Luke, who glanced at me in the mirror and smirked. I scoffed, earning the attention of all the other boys in the car. Ashton scoffed in reply.
The words fell out of my mouth before I gave them permission: “Oh, shut up.” The shocked silence willed me to go on. “Stop being such a dick, Ashton. You’re not allowed to be an asshole until you actually talk to me, which you haven’t.”
He seemed lost for words, which would have pleased me if I wasn’t so angry at him. “At least I’m not cheating on my girlfriend! With her best friend!” He finally said.
Calum and Michael looked at me, stunned. Luke raised an eyebrow at me in the mirror, clearly only to annoy me. I almost screamed at Ashton, “Guess what? I’m not either!” I lowered my voice, “But you wouldn’t know that, because you won’t even listen to me! I asked to talk and you just pushed me away, more than once!”
“Fuck, Brooke,” he laughed bitterly. Luke pulled into the parking lot and almost immediately found a parking spot. “Don’t you think the diary entry, signed by you, that says how much you love Michael – of all people! – pretty much explains itself?”
Michael drew back and raised an eyebrow. Of course he thought I was crushing on him. I’d basically spent all night with him. I felt my cheeks flush, and felt a strong urge to throttle Ashton. “I haven’t in a diary in two years, Ashton!” I yelled. Realisation flashed across Ashton’s face, but it disappeared almost immediately. “And you want proof?” I asked. I pushed the car door open and stepped out. The car hadn’t even fully stopped, but I wanted to get as far away from Ashton as possible. Ashton did the same. I looked at him over the top of the car. “Sure,” he shrugged. He still had the sour look on his face, but I could see that he was trying not to give in. I could sense his guilt as soon as I told him the diary was old.
“Go read the other entries. Like the one about my chemistry test, that I got a hundred percent on? Guess what?” I said, a hint of amusement in my voice. If he hadn’t been so rude to me earlier, I probably wouldn’t have been so harsh with my words. But he deserved it. “I don’t take chemistry,” I hissed. I slammed the car door to punctuate my point, and stormed into the building, taking the stairs two at a time. Ashton called after me, no longer sounding angry but with more urgency in his voice. I was too angry to respond.
I threw the diary away and fell into bed, fully clothed. Too angry to cry, and too sad to stay awake.
~
“Morning, sweetie,” my mother sang, pulling open the blinds. Instead of replying, I buried myself further underneath the covers. It was too cold, and I was still in my warm clothes from the previous night. And, after the fight with Ashton, the last thing I wanted to do was go to school and have to. “Come on, you’re already late,” she encouraged, gently prying the blanket from my hands. “Also, Caitlyn’s in the kitchen,” she added, and walked out of the room. I groaned internally. If Caitlyn knew about what happened last night, which she already did, she’d already be trying to play the role of mediator. And she’d force me into school.
