wedding buddies ↠ harry styles ✓

EPILOGUE

Carrington Hill

I never believed the person who broke you could be the same one to put your pieces back together. It seemed unrealistic, stupid and toxic. It seemed unrealistic because the chances of someone getting back together with the person that made them sad and broke their heart was really low. It seemed stupid because why the fuck would anyone want to be with someone who hurt them before? It just made no sense. And it also seemed toxic because if they really are the same ones to help someone through whatever pain it is, they are feeling, they will only do that because they love each other. Once they get back together, it will feel like it is okay for one to hurt the other because they will always stay together and neither of them will have to deal with the consequences.

But then it happened to me and the initial statement somehow seemed like one that could be reasoned with and, in a twisted way, it was true. 

For one, we both healed and moved on, on our own before we saw each other again and even brought up the idea of getting back together. That was such an important step—making sure we were both okay as individuals before we looked at us as a couple. I never had to work out so many things with another human being who was not my blood-related family therefore it was a challenge.

But it was a challenge that I gladly took on, determined to succeed.

Harry was worth it. He was truly one of a kind. I knew I wanted to marry him once and that hasn't changed one bit. Even when I left, I didn't do it because I didn't love him anymore and I didn't leave my ring with him because I didn't want to marry him. I did everything to save us from something that would stop us from ever being together and happy again. It took everything I had in me to make that decision but I was truly proud of myself for going through with it.

Now, I had the rest of my bloody life to live and love him forever—not that I have ever stopped. I didn't think it was possible for me to not love him. He made me happy, he loved me, he cared for me and he brought the best out of me. He challenged me and supported me in ways no one seemed to accomplish and I knew I had to grasp that and never let it go.

We both learned and grew, I believed we were both better than before. It was extremely cheesy to think about, but it was so important. There was a lot we both needed to reflect on as a couple and we genuinely did manage to do our best.

As someone who witnessed him experience setback after setback, I was indescribably proud of him for everything he has achieved and I knew he was going places with that smart brain of his. The model and fashion industry as a whole, was tremendously lucky to have someone as talented, gorgeous and clever as him.

But above all, I was the luckiest person to have him in my life and to be able to love him through everything.

**

Harry Styles

Carrington never wanted to hear me admit this, but I truly didn't deserve her. She was one of the purest people I have ever met. She really did have a heart of gold and I had absolutely no idea how I was so fucking lucky to be loved by it.

The pain I felt when I lost her was something I never wanted to endure again. It was the worst feeling I have ever felt in my life and that really was no exaggeration. Not when I lost her and our baby. That was the worst combination I have ever known and felt. And, sadly, there was not a day in my life where I wasn't reminded of it.

Although, now, that things seemed to be looking up again, I was doing better. Not how I once used to but that was understandable. It would have been inhumane for me to act the way I did before everything happened. It taught me a lot and opened my eyes to many things in life. I matured in a way I didn't think was possible, simply because I thought I was already grown, but I was thankful for it.