Choke [MCD x Reader] [DISCONTINUED]

Panic

"Laurance, you need to calm down."

"Calm down?" Laurance whipped around to face Garroth "You expect me to calm down? Dante has been missing for an entire month, Garroth. A month. I can't be calm when he's missing. What if The Fox got to him? What if he's hurt? We can't rest until we find him!" Ever since Dante's mom had called in, saying her son hadn't been home in days, Laurance has been stuck in a panic. He couldn't even remember the last time he had a full nights sleep.

"I'm not saying this isn't important. It is. I've been worried since we found out, I know how you feel. You can't get so bent out of shape. You need to sleep, to eat. You can't find him if you're not acting to the best of your ability." An official statement on Dante's disappearance had been made. It was posted everywhere with the hope someone, anyone, would have something to report.  So far there had been nothing. No anonymous calls with someone saying how they think they saw Dante at the market the other day. 

Laurance sat down, looking at Garroth. Sadness swam in his eyes, tears building up and ready to fall. "I can't." His voice cracked, his defenses crumbling as he began to cry. Garroth rushed to his side, pulling Laurance into a comforting hug. He cried and cried, not bothering to try and restrain himself.

A small drop of water hit his shoulder and Laurance knew Garroth was crying as well. "I can't help but wonder if this is all my fault." Laurance admitted once he wasn't crying as much. "I told you he was fine, when he wouldn't answer our calls. What if I realized this wasn't normal? What if I wasn't so stupid?"

"No one's at fault," Garroth said, his voice weak. "You didn't know, I didn't know. We thought it was normal."

None of them could really say how long they spent like that, crying in each other's arms. All that really could be say was that small weight was lifted from Laurance's shoulders.

+

Every since Dante had quit, the office had become a lot more muted. It wasn't as colorful and as lively as it was before. It only seemed to get worse after his disappearance. It was like everything had gotten darker. A cloud had hung over everyone's head, a constant reminder of the missing man.

All of it was finally starting to get to Garroth. He could deal with it before, but now? Ignoring the photos, the messages, and everything he had left of Dante was getting harder and harder. The space that Dante used to fill was becoming overwhelming. It was hard to sleep in his own home, sleeping without Dante's music blaring was difficult. The things he found annoying were those that he found himself missing the most.

Dante's mess was no longer in the bathroom, his hoodie wasn't hanging on his usual seat, his phone charger wasn't dangling dangerously close to the sink. That familiar presence was gone. No trace of Dante was left around the apartment, he had packed it all away. Garroth couldn't handle not seeing Dante in the mornings, eating a bowl of cereal while on his phone doing God knows what. It crushed him, knowing that life would never carry on like that again.

It was the same at work. Garroth never saw Dante's mess of a desk in the morning anymore, his favorite coffee mug was never lying in the sink.

"Are you boys doing okay?" Aphmau had asked one day, walking in and taking stock of the office. She looked as if she had just gotten done crying. Her eyes were red and the area surrounding them was puffy.

Laurance had finished up with a few papers from a recent case, shoving them into a simple folder. "We're fine," he said hastily and firmly, leaving no room for further discussion. Garroth remembers that moment vividly. Laurance's sadness and griefs had gave way to anger and paranoia.

"Just let me know if you two need any help," Aphmau's tone was gentle, a stark contrast to Laurance, "You were closest to him and I know that this stuff is hard. There are people you can talk to, if you need to. I can give you their email or their number, whichever you-"

"I said we're fine," Laurance interrupted Aphmau, harshly throwing the folder he held to his desk.  He was standing, Garroth can't recall watching him do that but he does remember how tense Laurance looked as he stood. "We don't need help from anyone, we've got this. Right Garroth?"

At that moment, Garroth looked between Laurance and Aphmau. Aphmau, who was only worried for them and looking out for their health, and Laurance, who was absolutely livid. "Actually, I think Aph may be on the right track here-"

"Right track my ass," Laurance spat.

"Watch your language in the office," Aphmau said, glaring at Laurance. "Just because you're wound up does not give you an excuse to be disrespectful."

"Oh, shut up. You have no idea what we're going through. You can't just waltz in here and pretend you understand when you don't!"

"I completely understand, I've been through it all. Twice. My brother disappeared when he turned fifteen, I haven't seen him since. My boyfriend has been missing for eight years, he also hasn't been found. Do not assume that you're the only one who has gone through shit like this." With that, Aphmau stormed out of the room. She left Laurance and Garroth looking at the door, both equally shocked.

"I fucked up," Laurance said, breaking the silence.

"Really bad," Garroth added.

+

"Mom?" Aphmau, age nine, had woken up to sobs coming from the kitchen. Her mother was sitting at the island, her head in her hands as she gripped a piece of paper. "Are you okay?"

"Go back to bed mija," Sylvana looked at Aphmau, wiping the tears from her eyes. "It's nothing, there's no need to worry."

"Is it Ein?" Aphmau was clever, sometimes too much for her own good. Ein hadn't been home since the night of his birthday, when he went out to celebrate with friends. Aphmau remembers the morning after, hearing her mother yell throughout the kitchen. She tried calling him, every call went straight to voice mail.

Sylvana smiled at Aphmau, it was painted with pure sadness. She loved her children with much fervor and having one missing, well, it hurt her. Deeply. "Yes, mija. The police are thinking of dropping the search."

"What?" Aphmau's stomach dropped to the floor, her heart momentarily stopped it's beating. She was speechless, for the first time in her life. Why would they stop looking for her brother? What if some sicko had him in his clutches? What if he was dead? In the process of becoming dead? How could they just drop it like that? It wasn't practical, wasn't fair.

"They don't think it's worth it," Sylvana sighed, "They already have so many missing persons  cases and Ein isn't a special case or anything, so it was best for them to drop it. Three months is a lot of time, mija."

"They can't do that!" Aphmau yelled, "They can't just give up on him, on us! Ein is a kid! A kid! Like me! What if someone hurt him! They can't leave him to die!" Aphmau didn't know when she started crying or when her mother had scooped her into a hug. "He's still out there! They need to find him!" Aphmau was punching her mother's arm, letting all her anger out as her mother winced.

"I know, I know. There's nothing we can do."

That was the moment Aphmau decided to become a police officer, so know when else had to live not knowing where a loved one had gone.

"Too bad I failed, huh?" Aphmau asked herself, looking at the city with tears running down her face.